TOTALLY

I'm TOTALLY dating a hockey player and he's TOTALLY cute and nice and sweet and funny. Lucky me!!!! TOTALLY!!!!!

My New Favorite Store

Who knew that all of the necessary objects for my weekend hobby are available at Overstock.com. Lucky me! They have chain mail and everything!!

Just You Wait

While chillin like a couple of villains yesterday at my abode, Sophist and I revisited the list of 100-and-some reasons why it was very good that I broke up with Asswipe. I've decided I might blog the list as an entertaining weekend post. Since he doesn't read my blog and those who do read it and know him don't like him, I feel the list can go into cyberspace. At best, it will be liberating for me.

In other news, he's getting married next year and I'm celebrating the fact that his bride WILL NOT BE ME. YAHOO!!!!!

What is this thing?

The early days, weeks, months of a new relationship are so amazing and nauseating and wonderful and terrifying - all at once. It's that bizarre period when one is fully convinced that THIS ONE is perfect, THIS ONE has no faults, THIS ONE is THE ONE. This buzzy, exciting, tittilating, adrenaline-filled state is exactly where I find myself as of late. I wake in the morning to discover that my first thoughts swim around him, I find myself singing songs out loud without notice, I flash giant smiles even when situations calls for a frown (train doors close right before you get on), and, best of all, I have amazing resilience against life's disappointments (which have recently come in the following forms: having a crappy job interview yesterday and experiencing the realities of identity theft).

I friggin' LOVE this feeling. I'm going to cherish it 'cause I know it doesn't last forever. At some point reality hits - the quirks come out and the annoyances set in. But for now, AHHHHHHHH.....

F*ck yea!

Dude. I rented Team America: World Plolice last night. I haven't laughed that hard in ages. From a parody of RENT to puppet sex, the movie was loaded with hilarity. And it was good on so so so many levels. I give it two middle fingers, way up.

stench

The one who writes things about science called me from Woods Hole on Friday night. She's there to brush up on hands-on science and have an intelectually stimulating time.

Seems she's not the only one there. Asswipe is there too. She met him once and can still spot - or smell - him a mile away. It's true that he carries an undeniable scent.

She knows someone who knows someone who knows some sort of martial art. I can have him roughed up a little if I want. What do you think?

Sad News

The jug band is breaking up. You have 2 more opportunities and I suggest you take them.

http://www.jugfreeamerica.net/

Did you know that there's not much of a view of the mountains in Mountain View?

Today at the Civic Center Farmers Market

Peaches. And more peaches.

Cherries no longer making an appearance. Next year, next year.

I Heart SF

Some of you out there have a love affair with San Francisco from a distance. Me - I get to appreciate this fair city on a daily basis. I especially enjoy that I'm a public health professional in a city that, unlike most places in the United States, is pretty friggin comfortable with talkin' 'bout sex. Nothing like a massive AIDS epidemic in a heavily gay city to get everyone pretty comfortable pretty quickly with discussions of bedroom (or back alley, depending on your preferences) activities.

My favorite part of working in the health department (so far anyway) is getting e-mail announcements about the upcoming gay pride parade. More than once, I have received word that I could be part of the parade...."If you are interested in joining City Clinic and marching along side our famous penis and syphilis sore costumes, or even dressing up as one of the characters, please e-mail ______." Dude, I'll totally do it - but only do it if I can be Phil the Sore.

Check it out here: http://www.healthypenis.org/ One of the best public health campaigns ever!

Did you know there's an artist in residence at the SF city dump? Tis true. And the list for the job is a mile long. The current artist is building a life-size hummer out of discarded styrofoam. What a message! I'm totally going to the show.

Shit Dude

So as some of you know, I've had a huge thing for Ray LaMontagne for the last several months. His voice, his music, his lyrics, him. You know how it is. In any case, Burn is one of my favorite tunes off of his Trouble album. The lyrics make me want to cry. Here they are on screen - much less emotionally dark and painful as when heard live.

Burn

Oh mama don't walk away
I'm a goddam sore loser, I ain't too proud to stay
But I'm still thinking 'bout you
And I'm so lonesome without you
And I can't get you out of my mind

Oh mama don't leave me alone
with my soul sat down so tight, it's like a stone cold tomb
Ain't it clear when I'm near you
I'm just dying to hear you
Calling my name one more time

Oh so don't pay no mind
To my watering eyes
Must be something in the air
That I'm breathing
Yes'n I try to ignore
All this blood on the floor
It's just this heart on my sleeve that's a bleeding

Oh mama don't walk away
You leave me here bereaving from the words so hard and plain
Saying the love that we had was just selfish and sad
To see you now with him is just making me mad

Oh so kiss him again
just to prove to me that you can
And I will stand here and burn in my skin
Yes I will stand here and burn in my skin

Boycott Gallo

Hey now.

I spent my lunch hour at a protest organized by the United Farm Workers. The UFW declared a boycott of Gallo Wines today and I'm hoping y'all might keep this in mind when choosing your alcoholic beverages. Pass the word, yo.

For more details, see http://www.ufw.org/

Rock on.

Hello world. I'm in Crushville.

Adventures of a Svelt Sheep in the Big City: a mini-series in several parts

PART 1: Meet the hottest sheep on the block.

Welcome to our mini-series, chronicling the life and times of the world's most styling sheep. We're going to begin this featurette with some introductions.

Meet Ewegene. 8 inches tall (8.5 in heals), 6 inch waist, 7oz in weight. Ewegene moved to the Bay area in 1997 and now considers himself a permanent resident. He loves San Francisco. It's the perfect town for him. You'll come to understand why over the coming weeks. Let's begin with the first installment of the photo diary.

Ewegene had his natural fur converted into a stylish fur coat circa 1997 when he moved from the chilly climates in Wisconsin to the temperate environment of the Bay Area. Don't be fooled into thinking his coat was made only for climatic reasons. Oh no. This wise sheep knew he needed to snaz it up for the big city. Case in point: pearl botton fastening coat and high-healed fashion boots with fur lining.

Ewegene's commissioned fur coat allows easy removal and makes a wonderful sitting mat when spending the day under the sun at Mission Delores Park, taking in a Giants game, or just sitting in front of the TV at home. Note: Ewegene has very elegant ballet arms - Elbows up, wrists down.

Ewegene LOVES to dance. You never know when he'll whip out some jazz hands and a Rockettes-esque kick. This morning I caught him on film performing his signature move - the Satin Pizzaz. Note how delightfully well the lining of his coat matches his high-healed boots. This sheep has style, yo.  

Windy City, Part Deux

Dude. San Francisco has been windy as hell lately. And if you think it's bad near Mission Bay - or anywhere else, for that matter - it's apparently worse right outside of my building. In fact, THE worst. Check this out:


Best place to feel the full force of San Francisco's winds (from "Best of the Bay")
*#@ PLAZA (the "*#@" is a poignant reminder of the glorious theater that once stood on the site) is an apartment tower at Market and Larkin that marks the spot of San Francisco's most ill winds. To fully experience the gales, timing and a bike are critical. Start by heading west on Market on a summer afternoon. If you started downtown, you've been fighting a head wind for a while, but as you near the intersection where Hayes, Larkin, and Market come together, you'll suddenly find yourself pushed along by a steady tailwind. As you effortlessly approach the corner of Polk, you may be lulled into thinking you can make it home without pedaling. Just when your guard is down, pow! -- a rogue gust slams you from three o'clock. If you manage to cross through the intersection of Polk and Market without getting flung into a Muni bus, the demon wind will slacken and you will likely survive to face the vicious winds another day. While many would attribute the winds at *#@ Plaza to the massive bulk of the building, the less gullible know they're actually caused by the ghosts of long-gone theater ushers venting their rage at the thoughtless destruction of a San Francisco jewel.

Pet Peeve

I'm starting a new semi-regular post topic - pet peeves.

My first entry comes from a situation last evening, when I went to an upscale grocery to get some bread for dinner.

Pet peeve: When someone paying for groceries doesn't help pack the groceries, but watches the cashier do it herself. This is ESPECIALLY annoying when the person is advertising that he went to Harvard* and when there is a long line of customers waiting to check out.

Help pack the groceries, you bastard! Didn't yo mamma teach you anything?

* I know some very very wonderful people who went to Harvard, so I am not making a general statement ... only noting the details of last nights pet peeve creator.

Daily Treats

I realized this morning that I have at least one thing each day that makes the day ... A-OKAY.

(I fear this may be too similar to Oprah's gratitude journal, but I'll continue anyway.)

Monday: The NYT crossword puzzle is actually finishable AND I have ballet in the evening!

Tuesday: The Science Times and reruns of House.

Wednesday: Farmers' Market 2 blocks from my office (esp. good lately 'cause it's cherry season).

Thursday: It's almost Friday.

Friday: It's Friday.

Saturday: Sleepin' in, yo. And a new episode of This America Life at noon.

Sunday: Coffee in bed while reading the paper. Copious napping.

San Francisco Weather Report

Wind? Yes!

How much? A LOT!!

Is it skirt weather? NOOOOO!!!

Are you wearing a skirt? Yes.

It's Quiz Time! WEE!!!

For some unknown reason, it's been a while since the blogring has discussed music. That will change with this here post.

I have some prompts for you:

1.) First music concert experience.

2.) First concert post age=10.

3.) Most emotionally-moving live performance.

4.) BEST CONCERT EVER.

5.) The concert that turned you from non-fan into fan.

6.) Favorite concert venue.

7.) Live performance you wish you would've seen.

8.) Live performance you swear you'll see before you die.

9.) Most beat for the buck - concert where cost was low and entertainment was HIGH!

10.) Best LIVE song.

Biology vs. Morality (or, Nature vs. Nuture)

If you have access to the New York Times, you should check out today's cover article "For Fruit Flies, Gene Shift Tilts Sex Orientation." (Or, if you have access to Cell, you should send me a PDF of the academic article.)

To sum, some Austrian scientists recently discovered that if they put the male version of ONE sex-related gene in a fly that is in all other ways female, the genetically-altered female behaves sexually like a male. She approaches female flies and performs MALE mating rituals. If males are given the female version of this gene, they become sexually passive and seak other males.

This really turns things on their heads, eh? Watch out socially-concervative right-wing uber-Christians! Scientific evidence is coming your way!!!

Beach Days in Pictures: a visual tour through the santa cruz weekend (medium: pixels on screen)

The site of much tomfoolery over the weekend - a relatively secluded beach four miles south of Santa Cruz. This shot was taken one day before the sand bitches rotatilled that ground during a fiercely competitive game of beach volleyball.

Remember 'Lost Boys'? Remember the bridge scene? Remember the amusement park? Here we are - in photo form.  

I have a blog policy of not posting pics of myself or the people I know. One little way of maintaining some anonymity. But for the beach report, I'm making an exception. Here are my legs and feet. 

Food was a major focus of the weekend. Here's a pic of eats on the healthy end of the spectrum. (Note mound of meat in the upper left.)

Roughly 50% of food mass consumed by me over the weekend came in this form: fried salty potato slices. Mmmmmmm.....

Beach life. Flipflops, bathing suit, towel and hat. That's it.

Goodtimes

Dude. Pictures to come later. For now, a breakdown on the trip to Santa Cruz (Spice style).

Trivial Pursuit denied, too many bags, stuffed car, unschooling, chain mail, Bob Dylan, nice house!, potato chips, Bemo SPUD, sleepy time, coffe and granolla, People, the painter, Sunkist, beach, nappy, sandwiches, long hike, boardwalk, dehydration, no candied apples, roller coaster, squished, charcoal, home, nappy, CANDIED APPLE!, BBQ, hot sausage, tofu and veggies, hangout, chocholate cake, chocholate babies, werewolf, bitches, suspicion, exhaustion, bedtime, the painter, aliens, waffles, People, Britney=slut, oreos, beach, nappy, volleyball, diving, cul-de-sac rules, burried in sand, sandwiches!, sand bitches, Sunkist, sun nappy, lunch, CANDIED APPLE!, sore tongue, the painter, beach, Fat Tire, sun, nappy, waves, ocean=cold, ocean=fun, butt-girl, negligent parents, hot runner, cold J.Po, photo, more sun, beach ballet, make dough, itchy butt, burned belly, bake pizza, burn arm, wine, bench dancin, photo takin, ice cream, Rocky Road, Kid Rock or Johnny Depp?, exhaustion, sleep, wake, clean, eat, coffee, chocholate cake, hey bebe, pack car, go home, vanilla milkshake, nappy.