Secrets

So I found my way to postsecret.blogspot.com, thanks to the newest member of the blog-ring (Theo). It got me to thinking about my deepest secret. It didn't take long....

On occassion, I enjoy the tuneful delights of musical theater. Nothing like rousing versions of "Seasons of Love" (rent) or "Turn Back, Oh Man" (godspell) to get my foot tapping.

Lucky for me, the newest instructor of my ballet class chooses to have us do our plies and releves to symphonic versions of Broadway classics. The other day, I founds myself doing tendu battements to "76 Trombones" from the Musicman. I found if excedingly difficult to maintain my formal classical ballet posture. I wanted to break into jazz hands.

Sophist, as seen on G3 PowerBook 

The equiptment I had to work with over the last few. My beloved G3 PowerBook. It must be considered out of date, since I was unable to download an updated Netscape onto the hard drive. So your blogs looked weird as hell over the last few. I snapped some pics so you can see yourselves in an old-timey manner. Enjoy. 

Grrbear, Untitled. pixels on screen, macintosh. 

J.Bro, circa 2000. 

Oh sweet sweet blog! I can see you again, icons and all.

I'm at EH's place in Davis, using her DELL Inspiron 4100 - my model, one year older. The hinge is totally intact and the AC adaptor is good as new. What the hell happened to my computer? I have a feeling EH is not as abusive to her laptop as I am to mine. I need to be more careful in the future.

Needless to say, my blogging will be spotty at best. The ol' G3 PowerBook is way out of date even though it was the computer used by Carey Bradshaw of Sex and the City. Bear with me, people. I should be back online soon.

3...2....1 DISTRUCT!

The other day, Sophist, BikeBoy, and I were tossing around the idea that high-tech equiptment (cameras, MP3 players, computers, etc) are probably designed to self-distruct roughly 2 days after expiration of the warrenty. I was doubtful, but totally enjoyed the conversation.

This morning, my doubts vanished. I woke up, prepared my cereal, turned on the tube for 'the View', and - as always - fetched my computer for some morning e-mail-checking and blogging. But what did I find? Well..... The top of the laptop was off-line from the bottom and when I tried to open the top to see the screen, I heard some cracking and scraping. Okay, problematic. But I figured I could at least get online. No. The computer didn't even turn on. Nothing. Nada. Zip. It was fine last night at 11:30pm and I wake up this morning to total blankness. After tinkering a bit with the machine, the right hinge that connects the screen to the base of the computer completely broke off. So now I have a very sad looking and non-working DELL sitting on my desk.

So how am I blogging you ask? As it turns out, I still have my PowerBook G3 purchased in the spring of 2000. It works perfectly and hooks to the internet old-fashioned style: by the phone line. One of the plethera of AOL free 2 month trial CDs finally came in handy. The only bizarre thing? My version of Netscape is so old that everything looks more like HTML than 2005 web style. My blog is so funny looking. All of your blogs are funny looking. It's been an interesting look at how much things have changed in 5 years!

Soon my Dell will be off to the doctor. We'll see if anything can be done. Thank god I've been backing up my hard drive!T

In No Particular Order

1.) Does anyone out there know the band Snow Patrol? If so, are they worth seeing? They're coming through town and I'm considering.

2.) Ballet got even better today. We got a new teacher (who will be one of 3 people who teach us, in rotation). He has NO qualms about pointing out peoples' errors and accomplishments. I really like his style. No beating around the bush. And he has the most amazing way of describing EXACTLY how positions should feel when you're doing them correctly. Today, when I happened to be the one singled out by the new teacher, it went something like this:

teach: [J.Po's real name], how tall are you?
J.Po: 5'10"
teach: How tall should you be in tendu battement?
J.Po: Tendu what-did-you-say?
teach: Tendu battement (he does the move while repeating the name)
J.Po: How tall should I be in tendu battement? (J.Po quickly does the move) ... 5'10"
teach: Precisely!! You got it right!!! Keep extending out of your standing leg and raise up while doing tendu battement

3.) Today at a Wendy's restaurant in San Jose, someone got more than beans and sauce when they ordered the cup of chili. They also got a finger. Apparently, a health and safety investigation is underway. Well, YEA!!!!!

4.) I was TOTALLY offered a job today. I am TOTALLY taking it if I make enough to cover my COBRA (the position is under 6 mo...no insurance). This should be just fine, since it pays more than my last gig anyway. Speaking of the last gig, I had to go into the office today to help make sense of some of my work that was picked up by someone else. A few hours later, I was pretty glad I've moved onto other things.

5.) 2 things I learned about myself today: a.) I like people. b.) I'm a much better conversationalist after a cup of coffee.

PICTURES TAKEN DURING MY DAY OUT. ENJOY!!! I am not doing this to increase Grrbear's pain around not yet knowing how to post photos.

My view from the top of stairs walking away from the Exploratorium. See that woman wearing orangey-yellow? I saw her go up and down 5 flights of stairs about 4 times during my one ascent. My excuse? Taking pictures and soaking in the beauty while getting soaked.

Pretty flower with evidence of the weather. 

The next 2 photos are things I saw at the museum. Guess what they are! It'll be a really fun game!! (I applaud creativity before correctness.)

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

The Exploratorium is quite aesthetic, especially when soaked in water. 

Swan built and sat in nest....in the rain. 

It was very very wet.

Hey Grrbear, click on that little photo icon to go to "hello" from Picasa. There's software that allows blogger and Hello to communicate. Spice filled me in on this and it was a snap to get working.

G or ET?

I was in San Francisco for the majority of the day. Had a doc appointment, went to the beloved Canvas Cafe, took the #43 to the Exploratorium, hung with my girl LL, ate a rather tasty hot dog, checked out the optics exhibit, walked south on Lyon Street (gorgeous! ), went to Trader Joe's, bused downtown and......

FOUND MYSELF PLAYING A ROUSING GAME OF GAY OR EUROTRASH!!

Being that I've been checking out all red-blooded Y-chromosome carrying humans in my presence, I was scanning the possibilities while walking to the BART. I found myself thinking to myself over and over and over again, "He's gatta be gay." True, not atypical in San Francisco. But downtown is never THIS fabulously gay. Then I figured it out. I noticed that virtually everyone in earshot was speaking French, German, Polish, etc, etc...apparently Europe has descended on the Bay Area. And the game began.

I Want to See Comments Galore!

I'm in a wedding in May. The wedding shower is coming up in a few weeks. I want to give a few personal gifts. Included among these gifts, I will make a CD of truly delightful lovey-dovey songs. The bride doesn't read my blog. So, here's today's blogworld task: list all genuine love songs you know. Like - real love songs. I don't want to see REM's 'The One I Love' on the list.

(Spice, I know. We've done this before. But all I can remember is 'Never Before' from the Muppet Movie.)

boys

ANYONE KNOW ANY SINGLE, HOT, STRAIGHT MEN IN THE GREATER BAY AREA? Send them my way. I'm ready to date ... but for some reason there isn't a line of men waiting to greet me at the door. WTF?!?! Do I have to scream from the rooftops "I WANT TO DATE!!!"???

Candy As Muse

There's this one spot at the corner of Rose and Milvia that smells JUST LIKE these candies. I always slow down my bike when I get there. The scent is so fake and yet so real. It's a bouquet of natural smells combining to form a beautiful pseudo- synthetic aroma. Absolutely fantastic!

Friday

Tomorrow is a very big day. The movie ICE PRINCESS will finally be in theaters near you!!!

I got a job interview!! Friday. 1pm. Local department of public health. Very exciting.

Hands on Science

Today I go to the museum to visit LL and see her workplace. I'm getting there by bike. Very fun, especially since the weather here is quite delightful. On my way to the Castro for ballet, I'm going to stop at Filmore to buy a real live leotard and pink tights.

More Songs

Okay, so I really like surveys with distinct boundaries and rules. But I think it's impossible to list only 5 songs that I really like or that mean a lot to me. So I'm going to continue my list. In fact, I may chime in on a semi-regular basis with a 5 song list.

Today's 5 songs (okay... 6):

Bob Dylan's Dream - as written by Bob Dylan and sung by Peter, Paul and Mary (lyrics below)
Chief - Patty Griffin (one of her upbeat numbers, based on a real Viet Nam vet)
Braided Hair - Track 5 on the One Giant Leap CD featuring Speech from Arrested Development
Raining in Baltimore - Counting Crows
Both Hands - Ani DiFranco
Verdi Cries - 10,000 Maniacs

Bob Dylan's Dream While riding on a train goin' west, I fell asleep for to take my rest. I dreamed a dream that made me sad, Concerning myself and the first few friends I had. With half-damp eyes I stared to the room Where my friends and I spent many an afternoon, Where we together weathered many a storm, Laughin' and singin' till the early hours of the morn. By the old wooden stove where our hats was hung, Our words were told, our songs were sung, Where we longed for nothin' and were quite satisfied Talkin' and a-jokin' about the world outside. With haunted hearts through the heat and cold, We never thought we could ever get old. We thought we could sit forever in fun But our chances really was a million to one. As easy it was to tell black from white, It was all that easy to tell wrong from right. And our choices were few and the thought never hit That the one road we traveled would ever shatter and split. How many a year has passed and gone, And many a gamble has been lost and won, And many a road taken by many a friend, And each one I've never seen again. I wish, I wish, I wish in vain, That we could sit simply in that room again. Ten thousand dollars at the drop of a hat, I'd give it all gladly if our lives could be like that.

A Commissioned Blog

As per Sophist's request (see her blog), I am going to complete the following survey. Please follow my lead and add your own details.

1. Total amount of music files on your computer?
6.84 GB, 2499 files

2. The last CD you bought was:
I purchased 2 yesterday - It's Hard to Find a Friend (Pedro the Lion), Eveningland (hem)

3. What was the last song you listened to before reading this message?
Big Trucks - Pedro the Lion

4. Write down five songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you.
Useless Desires - Patty Griffin
America - Simon and Garfunkel
Nightswimming - REM
Be Around - Uncle Tupelo
Idioteque - Radiohead

5. What 3 people are you going to pass this baton to and why?
The bloggidy blogtastic blogworld - Spice, J.Bro, Grrbear

And Away We Go...

It's official. The job search is on. I just sent off my first resume/cover letter. I'm actually pretty interested in the position and it happens to be one that can only last for 6 months - perfect for someone who is still confused about what she wants to spend her life doing.

Now I'm going to start composing my cover letter for a position for which I would have to be 'comfortable' traveling to Zimbabwe and South Africa. Comfortable?!?!?! Try 'that would be the reason to take the job!' (Aside from the fact that I think the research could add substantially to our battle with HIV.)

I finally feel like I have purpose again.

OMG!

Oh my goodness! People at the Forum show on KQED public radio actually read and RESPOND to e-mails about topics of discussion.

This morning's topic on the 9am hour of said show was on the debate about whether or not to errect a barrier to prevent successful completion of suicide attempts from the Golden Gate Bridge. I usually don't think about commenting on radio shows (except, perhaps, Car Talk), but this topic is particularly close to my public health and mental health heart.

I caught the last half of the show and finally decided to share my two cents 8 minutes before the end, so my ideas were not well supported or explained, but I had to say something. Why? Because so many people were arguing that those who've decided to commit suicide will do it whether or not they are able to jump off the bridge and that building a barrier is not fiscally responsible.

Okay - a few things. First, most other "magnets" for suicide attempt (ex. - Eiffel Tower, Crysler Building) have implemented suicide interventions of the "physical barrier to completion" variety. Second, the act of suicide is often very impulsive and reconsidered by the potential victim if not completed. And, finally, there are many non-fiscally-responsible things that ARE currently funded.

This fiscally responsible piece drives me batty and there was a big part missing from today's discussion. Consider the fact that, over the years since the completion of the Golden Gate Bridge, an average of 18 people a year have committed suicide from this structure. With the bridge completed in 1937, this means that 1224 deaths may have been prevented by a barrier to jumping. Taking a totally cold and economic approach to this situation, consider the economic cost of lives lost compared to the cost of building a barrier. Just a thought.

In any case, I digress. The real point of this blog is to say that I wrote an e-mail and, about 6 hours later, received an actual response indicating that the show's host actually read what I had to say. Fantastic! Here's what was said:

My e-mail (Admittedly not my best work and not necessarily factually correct. I was under pressure to have my voice heard.):

Thank you so much for your program on the Golden Gate
Bridge and the debate about errecting a barrier to
prevent suicide attempts.  I am astounded to hear that
a majority of your e-mails and calls from listeners
carry the message that a barrier is not necessary.  In
my opinion, the prevention of suicide is a public
health concern and deserves attention through a
governing body.  The bridge was, after all, built by
public funds.  The prevention of injury and death via
this bridge should also be supported publically.  To
me, I see a barrier on the bridge as being similar to
interventions such as traffic lights to prevent
traffic accidents.  

Response from show host:

Thanks for your comments, [J.Po's first name]. A number
of listeners have voiced their dismay that so many
callers and emailers vehemently opposed the idea
of a barrier.

Be well,
[Show Host]

Movin' Right Along

Could it be? Could it ACTUALLY be? Could it be that I will be leaving the Bay Area soon?

This possibility scares me, excites me, calms me, thrills me, frightens me, saddens me, etc, etc, etc. But I think it may be time. Change is in the air and it's calling me to act. I find myself at a crossroads and there is something deep in my gut telling me to move on.

I can tell I recognize the imminence of this move. Each time I go outside, take a trip across the bridge, or see the San Francisco skyline, I find myself soaking in the beauty of the surroundings that will soon hear my goodbyes. There is some tangible evidence of my move to uproot. None of my cover letters carry California zip codes. They are all directed east of the Mississippi.

I never really belonged here anyway. I've been a square peg in a round hole.

FAME!

My ballet class starts tomorrow night. VERY VERY EXCITING! I've already selected my outfit.

Gettin' Juggy With It

I had the most fantastic evening. I went to see and ACTUAL jug band, complete with rusty old washboard, washtub bass made of broom handle and tub, banjo with ratty rope as a strap, and - you guessed it - a jug. This group is no collection of mere amatures. No way! Those juggers were downright loaded with talent and they played the hell outta those instruments. As hard as I tried, I could not stop tapping my foot to the beat and I was damn sad when their set came to an end.

Some of you out there know that I have an (unhealthy) obsession with jug bands, which I believe stems from the Muppet Show (see exibit A above). The issue with my obsession prior to this eve was that I didn't have a regular source of jug band entertainment. This has quite suddenly changed. And I believe it's time that I assume my new professional role: Jug Band Groupie. Yeah!

amazing race

I have NEVER watched this show. But I am already hooked to this season. I LOVE the gay couple and the mother/son team (there's a gay theme going on here). I also enjoy the female best friends (NOT the barbi dolls).

The race is on.

Wha?!?!?!

Today, while riding my bike back from the fabric store, I saw an SUV with a vanity plate that read: "RTHR WLK"

Does this bother others as much as it bothers me??