Catholic Guilt

Every hour or so I'm reminded of what a terrible terrible thing the Catholic Church can be. Never mind issues around birth control and the patriarchal hierarchy. What really gets me is the GUILT response imbedded in my brain after years of reprogramming.

Take my situation this morning. I got to work cold and wet after a dash in the rain sans umbrell. I was looking forward to one thing - a coffee to warm my chilly bones. Lucky for me, there's a *bucks next door. I usually bring my own mug, mostly to soothe my guilt around unnecessary waste with the side benefit of 10 cents off each purchase (whatever). Every other time I've gone to *bucks with my own mug for a coffee fill-up I've been charged $1.35. So I brought with me a total sum of $1.50. This time, it rang up $1.55 because, apparently, my mug is deceivingly large - the size of a grande instead of a tall. (Here I need to state my frustration with *bucks using their own sizing system. What's wrong with the old standard 'small, medium, large'???). I said I only had $1.50 with me because I was charged $1.35 last time. The cashier told me that was fine and accepted what I had to offer. Despite (1) having been charged less every other time and (2) receiving confirmation that my under-payment was acceptable, I still feel GUILTY!

WHY?!?!?!?

Zoinks!

D'oh! Spice announced in the comments on Grrr's blog that I'm blogging again. So I better blog.

Status report on new job: I'm at the end of my 4th day. I'm currently sitting in my OFFICE where my computer faces AWAY from the hallway pretending to do statistics but actually BLOGGING. I should clarify. There aren't any statistics to do yet. So it sounds like I'm getting away with something. But really, I'm filling the 20 minutes before I feel okay about leaving.

Anyhoo, here's my first-four-days impression of my future here:
- I'm going to have to learn a hell-o-alot about writing scripts to manipulate databases.
- I think I will actually be appreciated for my skills, which largely lie outside those of the people in this particular office. This environment works for me (rather than one where we all do the same thing).
- Free pasteries are provided every morning by the neighboring *-bucks. I need to constantly remind myself of the 'one-pastery-per-week' rule.
- I like having my own office. I've rearranged my pencils and post-its 5 times in the last hour.
- My supervisor is very kind and straightforward. I like direct communication.
- It's really nice to work at a place that has very good human resources contacts.
- I think I should start a retirement fund.

I'm Back!

Dudes. Finally. I'm posting after a 3 week hiatus. I, once again, have regular internet access given my new 8-to-5 job. Yes. I have to be at the office at 8am. This means wake-up time of 6:15. Eesh.

There is much to report about the recent travels to the M.W. Notably, there are pics to share too. Spice and I will be doing some sort of e-mail volley of a story. It will likely be the best spelling you'll ever get out of me. For now, I will tantilize you with a lovely picture of the result of me sending one of Spice's gloves through the dryer. Note: she lent me the gloves about 2 years ago during a trip to D.C. and, after the extreme shrinkage, I tried to buy replacements with no luck. Perhaps I'll knit a pair as soon as I learn how to use 2-ended needles.

YAR!

I think I just got a job offer - or at least a statement that one will be coming in the near future. (Business with HR ... you know ...) YAY! Plus, my future supervisor expressed the importance of taking a week or two or three between jobs for some down time. What this says to me: "I understand the importance of the work-life balance." Good sign

Sometimes Things Work Out!

YAY! I have the perfect-case-scenario job hunting situation right now. Over the last week, my interest in the "old" #1 job option has fallen behind my current interest in the "old" job #2 option. But the #1 job is in a program of high prestige, so I didn't want to have to turn down an offer out of fear of ruining my future. So the great part of the story is that job #1 had an internal candidate they decided to hire, as I sensed after my interview when the director asked a colleague about openings in his group on our way out the door. I got a personal call with that "bad" news this morning - with the added information that they would love me to work for them in the future and that they will send my resume on to others in their division....and that they'll contact me if anything opens up in their group in months to come. At the same time, job #2 is aggressively following up with my references and it looks like I may get an offer soon. Which I will take - and which I may have the opportunity to leave if it doesn't work out and if job #1 has openings. And dude, I'll have my own office.

Taking Off Before Settling In

If I have 2 weeks off between my jobs (presuming I get the one I want, which is looking more and more positive ... and the one I want is now the one that was runner up before*), where should I go and what should I do?

Here are some options:
- Madison (my favorite winter between-job retreat, last winter visit - Jan 2002)
- Las Vegas (not my favorite option, but flights are probably reasonable)
- Yosemite Valley, which is lovely with a light dusting of snow
- The local mall (bargain shopping could be a great way to celebrate)
- Hawaii (including a visit to whale girl)
- Washington D.C. (home of my sister and the lovely TOWWAS)
- Paris (cold, but it's not tourist season and the baguettes are tasty year-round)
- My apartment (honestly, I have some sewing projects I want to make some serious progress on)

Any others? Where would you go given limited time and a relatively small budget?

* Dude, I'd have my own office with a door that closes. Unbelievable. Plus, I'd get some exposure to research -> policy change.

cortosol

Dudes,

I've been in recovery mode ever since the day'o'interviews. Like, it's taken until this afternoon for the stress hormones to drain out of my tissues. I'd forgotten how difficult interviewing can be. ...especially the part where you have no idea what sort of questions they'll ask. Neither of the 2 interviews this week asked for "strengths" and "weaknesses" and I was prepared with the perfect answer for weakness (spelling ... 'cause it's true and it's not such a bad thing since the advent of spellcheck). Oh well. I have a third chance Tuesday, when I have a secondary interview for the less-desirable (though still interesting) but more get-able job.

If I conducted an interview, I'd ask stuff like: What's your favorite type of candy? Have you ever seen a boy-band in concert and, if yes, which one(s)? If you were a city, which would you be and why? Okay, as an excercise, why don't YOU answer these questions! Thanks in advance for you participation.

Me:
(1) Twizzlers (cherry nibs), followed closely by Redvines black licorice
(2) Yes: New Kids on the Block - August and November '89. (I feel no shame.)
(3) Seattle - cause I like being cool but not acting like I think I'm cool...plus, I'm pretty laid back with periods of stormy/rainy weather.

Day o' Interviews

Yikes. I'm exhausted. One interview down, one to go. I'm pumped about the work of group #1. I think it's unlikely they will offer me a job, however. I didn't prepare for #2, but I feel I will do better since I am not prepared. Or not.

J.Po's Golden Globes Brief Review

- Johnny Depp looked hot, as usual
- Best Actress and Best Actor (drama) went to the right people
- Gwyneth and her bump looked lovely in all white
- Sarah Jessica Parker and Mathew Broderick are the CUTEST COUPLE EVER
- There were a lot of Sutherland's at the party
- Chris Rock is funny
- Steve Carell - also funny, in a white sort of way
- Alanis Morrisette was slighted again

Oooooooooohhhhhh ....... it's Friday the 13th.

Waking up

It's one week since I started antibiotics for my aching tooth. I feel great and, without constantly popping pain medication, I'm beginning to recall some things that happened over the holidays. Like ... I think TOWWAS called me about some public health-related info. I totally missed that. Also, it's totally possible that she never called. Perhaps it was a dream. Maybe I'll check my saved messages. Sorry, TOWWAS, if I never got back to you. D'oh! (Note to self: never get addicted to mind-altering drugs.)

YAY!-squared

People. Today is a very very good day. I just got another interview - to take place in the afternoon on the same day as the first interview. This one is for a position coordinating all data and helping plan studies for several psychiatric/behavioral programs for the under-served. Very very exciting.

YAY!

I got an interview for a job I'm really really really pumped about! Next week - one week from today. Time for me to start studying up on geographic distribution of exposure and disease and the role of community groups in advocating for their health. Dudes. This job seems to be the perfect confluence of rigorous science and community education and action.

Spice Needs Help

Somebody help Spice burn me some CDs. I desperately want her 'Best of 2005' and 'Illinois'. I am happy to return the favor, with some of my lesser-known faves. Thanks in advance.

Album Obsession

I am OBSESSED with "I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning." I am now at the point in the repeat-listening process when I should be able to chose a favorite track. (In a comment on a previous post about said album, Ole indicated a newfound love of 'Road to Joy' - possibly replacing 'Land-Locked Blues' as his fave.) In my exhaustive attempts at selecting a personal #1, I have been unable to get lower than n=5. Here's where I stand:

Lua
First Day of My Life
Another Travelin' Song
Land-Locked Blues
Road to Joy

Help!!!!!!

Is the entire world blogging at this point? Some stranger has already taken Spice's old (#2) address. .....someone with a far less interesting blog than Spice. I continue to mourn her absence. Alas.

Flakey Wonderfulness

It's gonna be a rough week. I spent my one-pastry-per-week ticket yesterday and I have 5 days to go. Not only that, but I wasted it on some health-smealthy low-fat vegan "scone" from Whole Foods. What was I thinking?

I may have to ditch this resolution. It's cramping my style.

Finding-A-Job'O'Meter, January 8

T - (23 Days) until no more automatically-depositing paychecks.

So where's my level of anxiety on the Finding-A-Job'O'Meter?

Calm. Quite calm, really. Disturbingly calm. Turning down that job at that place made me feel like I am employable...and that I can hold out for a while for the right fit.

Holidaze

Since I'm sure you're DYING to hear about my Christmas/New Year's holidaze, here's a summary:

12/21 - I had a tooth pulled. It didn't come out as easy as hoped, so the dentist employed his tooth saw to grind it to a pulp - or so it seemed. I expected to have some minimal discomfort and be back on my feet in a day, 2 tops.

12/21 - 1 hour post surgery - I RAN to the drug store to fill ye ol' Vicodin prescription. As it turns out, getting a dental extraction hurts like a mother. I spent the following 24 hours in a complete daze. Despite this, I managed to take a train to Mountainview to see Jiggity and exchange presents. I got good loot. He did too.

12/22 - I was asked to send references to that job I applied for (discussed in teleconference with Madison gang). Within 5 hours, I was offered the job. I called and said I'd think about it overnight.

12/23 - Turned down the job. Kept popping Vicodin.

12/24 - Flew to Cleveland via Chicago. Waved to Grrrrbear on the way down and back up again (turns out he was in MN). Entire flying time went something like this: OUUCH!! OUUCH!! Vicodin, vicodin, sleep, sleep, sleep. OUUCH!! OUUCH!! Vicodin, vicodin, sleep, sleep, sleep. OUUCH!! OUUCH!! Vicodin, vicodin, sleep, sleep, sleep. OUUCH!! OUUCH!! Upon landing: ache ache ache ache ache, set presents under tree, ache ache ache ache ache, try to sleep. Vicodin.

12/25 - Presents and Pain (P^2). I enjoyed the former far more than the latter. Stuff aquired: DVD player (to replace the one obtained via the rents who obtained it via some Madison study), coffee maker I can program to grind and prepare coffee for wake-up call, financial assistance for my dental work (what I wanted most ... for reals). As for food, Grams provided a typically scrumptious feast. I drugged up in order to enjoy, sortof.

The remainder of my time back home went something like this:
*- ache, ouch, pain
- Vicodin, vicodin, vicodin
- Nap, nap, nap
- ache, ouch, pain
- Advil, advil, advil
- Nap, nap, nap
- Eat
- Nap, nap, nap
- Ache, ouch, pain
- Vicodin
- Ache, ouch, pain
- Advil, advil, advil
- Eat
- Sleep
(*Repeat)

12/31 - New Year's Eve was great, if not a little wet. Jiggity and I celebrated with his buds and some Dance Dance Revolution (my man has talent!) and I continued to ache. My stitches disolved and string-like matter swam in my mouth until I scouped it out with my pinky. (TMI?)

1/1 - Aching continues. I become increasingly concerned about my mouth as my gums surrounding the pulled tooth quadruple in size. I still have a good day, passing the time with Jiggity and a board game.

1/2 - Something is definitely not right with my extraction. Gums swell to 3-4-times their original size. Worry ruings my sleep.

1/3 - Call doctor. Discuss symptoms. "Why don't you come in today." J.Po opens up. Doc says, "Wow, something's really going on in there!". Doc orders x-ray. X-ray indicates no bone-related problems. Whew. Doc writes prescription for amoxicilin and orders Listerine rinses. J.Po feels relieved that the aching may end soon.

1/4 - Gum swelling decreases by roughly 30%. Throbbing continues, but magnitude decreases.

1/5 - Gum swelling down by 75%, at least. I no longer find myself chomping on soft tissue whilst comsuming food matter. Throbbing stops. Whew.

And we arrive at today - gums totally back to normal. I experience some continued low-grade ache when I open my jaw and insert my fist, but otherwise back to normal. YAY!!! The celebrations can begin ..... uuuuhhhhh. Yea. I totally missed Christmas '06.

New Year's Resolutions

1.) Blog more.
2.) Eat a maximum of one patry per week for breakfast. Mid-morning snack does not count as breakfast.
3.) Try to save $1.50/day by making coffee at home.
4.) Buy a copy of Sufjan Stevens' Illinois or find other source.
5.) Call Spice sometime before 2007.