Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Visceration*

9:20PM Monday August 2, 2004#

Every time I get new quesitons about the crime, new information from the police, revisits to the scene, I find myself overcome with a new wave of panic. This could be withdrawal talking, but I think there's something real to this paranoia.

Today when I was walking home from work (down Shattuck, not Milvia), I saw a young man who looked too suspicious for his own good. His beady eyes reminded me of those from 2 weeks ago. I was on the phone with Elliot, but my head and (thumping) heart were with HIM. But it wasn't him. Or was it?

Events don't end there. I got a call from the detective tonight. Tomorrow I will be visiting the local police to examine a line-up. I'm fucking scared. But - in some weird way - I have the power now. And maybe that power will be the next phase of recovery.

I still haven't healed.


* I create words when they don't exist but should. The OED actually says this exists, but the meaning is all wrong. Or maybe all right. Here it is:
VISCERATION (n.) - good chear, a dole or distributing raw flesh at the death of rich men, or when hogs are killed; also the garbage that Hunters give their Dogs. The last is my fave. And you?

# I am post-dating this blog. It was written at precisely the time and date written above. However, my "borrowed" internet failed me. Again.

Post script: some of you out there scanned over all of the colored words to see if they led to links, of the html variety. Fooled again. Will you ever learn?

5 comments:

Stacey Pelika said...

Okay, lineup. That's scary. It conjures images of Law and Order (chung-chung!), but I'm sure it's far creepier than that - and that's already creepy. And there will be no Stabler to comfort you (which is a reference I'm sure escapes you as you are sans TV reception).

J.Po said...

Okay, I'm back from 21 Jump Street. It was not quite what I expected. Downright pleasant, actually. I was given the run-down about investigations, shown some photos of previously incarcerated/arrested individuals, asked about features about said individuals that were similar/different than the muggers, told about potential live line-ups in Oakland to come, and given reassurance that I DID NOTHING WRONG THAT DAY. A big shout out to the investigations unit in my home town! Their follow-up gives me peace. And they were cute too.

Annie said...

i think "viscerate" or "eviscerate" means to disembowel. was that in the OED?

J.Po said...

Yes, viscerate is there. And I actually use that one a lot. But it needs the corresponding noun, I think.

Anonymous said...

Where did you find it? Interesting read »