My New Favorite Store

Who knew that all of the necessary objects for my weekend hobby are available at Overstock.com. Lucky me! They have chain mail and everything!!

Just You Wait

While chillin like a couple of villains yesterday at my abode, Sophist and I revisited the list of 100-and-some reasons why it was very good that I broke up with Asswipe. I've decided I might blog the list as an entertaining weekend post. Since he doesn't read my blog and those who do read it and know him don't like him, I feel the list can go into cyberspace. At best, it will be liberating for me.

In other news, he's getting married next year and I'm celebrating the fact that his bride WILL NOT BE ME. YAHOO!!!!!

What is this thing?

The early days, weeks, months of a new relationship are so amazing and nauseating and wonderful and terrifying - all at once. It's that bizarre period when one is fully convinced that THIS ONE is perfect, THIS ONE has no faults, THIS ONE is THE ONE. This buzzy, exciting, tittilating, adrenaline-filled state is exactly where I find myself as of late. I wake in the morning to discover that my first thoughts swim around him, I find myself singing songs out loud without notice, I flash giant smiles even when situations calls for a frown (train doors close right before you get on), and, best of all, I have amazing resilience against life's disappointments (which have recently come in the following forms: having a crappy job interview yesterday and experiencing the realities of identity theft).

I friggin' LOVE this feeling. I'm going to cherish it 'cause I know it doesn't last forever. At some point reality hits - the quirks come out and the annoyances set in. But for now, AHHHHHHHH.....

F*ck yea!

Dude. I rented Team America: World Plolice last night. I haven't laughed that hard in ages. From a parody of RENT to puppet sex, the movie was loaded with hilarity. And it was good on so so so many levels. I give it two middle fingers, way up.

stench

The one who writes things about science called me from Woods Hole on Friday night. She's there to brush up on hands-on science and have an intelectually stimulating time.

Seems she's not the only one there. Asswipe is there too. She met him once and can still spot - or smell - him a mile away. It's true that he carries an undeniable scent.

She knows someone who knows someone who knows some sort of martial art. I can have him roughed up a little if I want. What do you think?

Sad News

The jug band is breaking up. You have 2 more opportunities and I suggest you take them.

http://www.jugfreeamerica.net/

Did you know that there's not much of a view of the mountains in Mountain View?

Today at the Civic Center Farmers Market

Peaches. And more peaches.

Cherries no longer making an appearance. Next year, next year.

I Heart SF

Some of you out there have a love affair with San Francisco from a distance. Me - I get to appreciate this fair city on a daily basis. I especially enjoy that I'm a public health professional in a city that, unlike most places in the United States, is pretty friggin comfortable with talkin' 'bout sex. Nothing like a massive AIDS epidemic in a heavily gay city to get everyone pretty comfortable pretty quickly with discussions of bedroom (or back alley, depending on your preferences) activities.

My favorite part of working in the health department (so far anyway) is getting e-mail announcements about the upcoming gay pride parade. More than once, I have received word that I could be part of the parade...."If you are interested in joining City Clinic and marching along side our famous penis and syphilis sore costumes, or even dressing up as one of the characters, please e-mail ______." Dude, I'll totally do it - but only do it if I can be Phil the Sore.

Check it out here: http://www.healthypenis.org/ One of the best public health campaigns ever!

Did you know there's an artist in residence at the SF city dump? Tis true. And the list for the job is a mile long. The current artist is building a life-size hummer out of discarded styrofoam. What a message! I'm totally going to the show.

Shit Dude

So as some of you know, I've had a huge thing for Ray LaMontagne for the last several months. His voice, his music, his lyrics, him. You know how it is. In any case, Burn is one of my favorite tunes off of his Trouble album. The lyrics make me want to cry. Here they are on screen - much less emotionally dark and painful as when heard live.

Burn

Oh mama don't walk away
I'm a goddam sore loser, I ain't too proud to stay
But I'm still thinking 'bout you
And I'm so lonesome without you
And I can't get you out of my mind

Oh mama don't leave me alone
with my soul sat down so tight, it's like a stone cold tomb
Ain't it clear when I'm near you
I'm just dying to hear you
Calling my name one more time

Oh so don't pay no mind
To my watering eyes
Must be something in the air
That I'm breathing
Yes'n I try to ignore
All this blood on the floor
It's just this heart on my sleeve that's a bleeding

Oh mama don't walk away
You leave me here bereaving from the words so hard and plain
Saying the love that we had was just selfish and sad
To see you now with him is just making me mad

Oh so kiss him again
just to prove to me that you can
And I will stand here and burn in my skin
Yes I will stand here and burn in my skin

Boycott Gallo

Hey now.

I spent my lunch hour at a protest organized by the United Farm Workers. The UFW declared a boycott of Gallo Wines today and I'm hoping y'all might keep this in mind when choosing your alcoholic beverages. Pass the word, yo.

For more details, see http://www.ufw.org/

Rock on.

Hello world. I'm in Crushville.

Adventures of a Svelt Sheep in the Big City: a mini-series in several parts

PART 1: Meet the hottest sheep on the block.

Welcome to our mini-series, chronicling the life and times of the world's most styling sheep. We're going to begin this featurette with some introductions.

Meet Ewegene. 8 inches tall (8.5 in heals), 6 inch waist, 7oz in weight. Ewegene moved to the Bay area in 1997 and now considers himself a permanent resident. He loves San Francisco. It's the perfect town for him. You'll come to understand why over the coming weeks. Let's begin with the first installment of the photo diary.

Ewegene had his natural fur converted into a stylish fur coat circa 1997 when he moved from the chilly climates in Wisconsin to the temperate environment of the Bay Area. Don't be fooled into thinking his coat was made only for climatic reasons. Oh no. This wise sheep knew he needed to snaz it up for the big city. Case in point: pearl botton fastening coat and high-healed fashion boots with fur lining.

Ewegene's commissioned fur coat allows easy removal and makes a wonderful sitting mat when spending the day under the sun at Mission Delores Park, taking in a Giants game, or just sitting in front of the TV at home. Note: Ewegene has very elegant ballet arms - Elbows up, wrists down.

Ewegene LOVES to dance. You never know when he'll whip out some jazz hands and a Rockettes-esque kick. This morning I caught him on film performing his signature move - the Satin Pizzaz. Note how delightfully well the lining of his coat matches his high-healed boots. This sheep has style, yo.  

Windy City, Part Deux

Dude. San Francisco has been windy as hell lately. And if you think it's bad near Mission Bay - or anywhere else, for that matter - it's apparently worse right outside of my building. In fact, THE worst. Check this out:


Best place to feel the full force of San Francisco's winds (from "Best of the Bay")
*#@ PLAZA (the "*#@" is a poignant reminder of the glorious theater that once stood on the site) is an apartment tower at Market and Larkin that marks the spot of San Francisco's most ill winds. To fully experience the gales, timing and a bike are critical. Start by heading west on Market on a summer afternoon. If you started downtown, you've been fighting a head wind for a while, but as you near the intersection where Hayes, Larkin, and Market come together, you'll suddenly find yourself pushed along by a steady tailwind. As you effortlessly approach the corner of Polk, you may be lulled into thinking you can make it home without pedaling. Just when your guard is down, pow! -- a rogue gust slams you from three o'clock. If you manage to cross through the intersection of Polk and Market without getting flung into a Muni bus, the demon wind will slacken and you will likely survive to face the vicious winds another day. While many would attribute the winds at *#@ Plaza to the massive bulk of the building, the less gullible know they're actually caused by the ghosts of long-gone theater ushers venting their rage at the thoughtless destruction of a San Francisco jewel.

Pet Peeve

I'm starting a new semi-regular post topic - pet peeves.

My first entry comes from a situation last evening, when I went to an upscale grocery to get some bread for dinner.

Pet peeve: When someone paying for groceries doesn't help pack the groceries, but watches the cashier do it herself. This is ESPECIALLY annoying when the person is advertising that he went to Harvard* and when there is a long line of customers waiting to check out.

Help pack the groceries, you bastard! Didn't yo mamma teach you anything?

* I know some very very wonderful people who went to Harvard, so I am not making a general statement ... only noting the details of last nights pet peeve creator.

Daily Treats

I realized this morning that I have at least one thing each day that makes the day ... A-OKAY.

(I fear this may be too similar to Oprah's gratitude journal, but I'll continue anyway.)

Monday: The NYT crossword puzzle is actually finishable AND I have ballet in the evening!

Tuesday: The Science Times and reruns of House.

Wednesday: Farmers' Market 2 blocks from my office (esp. good lately 'cause it's cherry season).

Thursday: It's almost Friday.

Friday: It's Friday.

Saturday: Sleepin' in, yo. And a new episode of This America Life at noon.

Sunday: Coffee in bed while reading the paper. Copious napping.

San Francisco Weather Report

Wind? Yes!

How much? A LOT!!

Is it skirt weather? NOOOOO!!!

Are you wearing a skirt? Yes.

It's Quiz Time! WEE!!!

For some unknown reason, it's been a while since the blogring has discussed music. That will change with this here post.

I have some prompts for you:

1.) First music concert experience.

2.) First concert post age=10.

3.) Most emotionally-moving live performance.

4.) BEST CONCERT EVER.

5.) The concert that turned you from non-fan into fan.

6.) Favorite concert venue.

7.) Live performance you wish you would've seen.

8.) Live performance you swear you'll see before you die.

9.) Most beat for the buck - concert where cost was low and entertainment was HIGH!

10.) Best LIVE song.

Biology vs. Morality (or, Nature vs. Nuture)

If you have access to the New York Times, you should check out today's cover article "For Fruit Flies, Gene Shift Tilts Sex Orientation." (Or, if you have access to Cell, you should send me a PDF of the academic article.)

To sum, some Austrian scientists recently discovered that if they put the male version of ONE sex-related gene in a fly that is in all other ways female, the genetically-altered female behaves sexually like a male. She approaches female flies and performs MALE mating rituals. If males are given the female version of this gene, they become sexually passive and seak other males.

This really turns things on their heads, eh? Watch out socially-concervative right-wing uber-Christians! Scientific evidence is coming your way!!!

Beach Days in Pictures: a visual tour through the santa cruz weekend (medium: pixels on screen)

The site of much tomfoolery over the weekend - a relatively secluded beach four miles south of Santa Cruz. This shot was taken one day before the sand bitches rotatilled that ground during a fiercely competitive game of beach volleyball.

Remember 'Lost Boys'? Remember the bridge scene? Remember the amusement park? Here we are - in photo form.  

I have a blog policy of not posting pics of myself or the people I know. One little way of maintaining some anonymity. But for the beach report, I'm making an exception. Here are my legs and feet. 

Food was a major focus of the weekend. Here's a pic of eats on the healthy end of the spectrum. (Note mound of meat in the upper left.)

Roughly 50% of food mass consumed by me over the weekend came in this form: fried salty potato slices. Mmmmmmm.....

Beach life. Flipflops, bathing suit, towel and hat. That's it.

Goodtimes

Dude. Pictures to come later. For now, a breakdown on the trip to Santa Cruz (Spice style).

Trivial Pursuit denied, too many bags, stuffed car, unschooling, chain mail, Bob Dylan, nice house!, potato chips, Bemo SPUD, sleepy time, coffe and granolla, People, the painter, Sunkist, beach, nappy, sandwiches, long hike, boardwalk, dehydration, no candied apples, roller coaster, squished, charcoal, home, nappy, CANDIED APPLE!, BBQ, hot sausage, tofu and veggies, hangout, chocholate cake, chocholate babies, werewolf, bitches, suspicion, exhaustion, bedtime, the painter, aliens, waffles, People, Britney=slut, oreos, beach, nappy, volleyball, diving, cul-de-sac rules, burried in sand, sandwiches!, sand bitches, Sunkist, sun nappy, lunch, CANDIED APPLE!, sore tongue, the painter, beach, Fat Tire, sun, nappy, waves, ocean=cold, ocean=fun, butt-girl, negligent parents, hot runner, cold J.Po, photo, more sun, beach ballet, make dough, itchy butt, burned belly, bake pizza, burn arm, wine, bench dancin, photo takin, ice cream, Rocky Road, Kid Rock or Johnny Depp?, exhaustion, sleep, wake, clean, eat, coffee, chocholate cake, hey bebe, pack car, go home, vanilla milkshake, nappy.

Beach Bum

In honor of Memorial Day, some buds and I are hanging at a rented house in Santa Cruz. I will be out of blogging range, so I won't be spotted for 3 days. Be patient. I will return.

Goodnight.

POOOORRRKKK!!!

BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON!!

Seems Spice and I Missed Woody

Here's what happened in the second U2 show in Boston:

Just before the show begins, a noticeable security detail leads former Vice President Al Gore and wife Tipper to their seats in a prime spot to the side of the stage. Bono sings bits of two Aerosmith songs as Steven Tyler and his band mates are in attendance tonight. U2 appears to abandon their setlist during the encores, and Bono plays traffic cop telling the band which songs he wants to do. 'Out of Control' is played for the first time this tour. Bono brings a girl on stage to dance during 'Bad', reminiscent of Live Aid 20 years ago.

Good Morning! 

Affiliations

As Grrbear noted in a comment on my last post, I now have an affiliated site. If you accidently type my site name using 'blogpsot' instead of 'blogspot', you get some piece of shit bible-wielding craptastic site. Okay, so that was a little strong. But dude. I think the people responsible for this other site did a search for blogs written by people favoring the study of evolution in the public schools and the exclusion of creationism from scientific discussions. (I should clarify that I am completely fine with religious discussions - as long as such things are taught in the context of fields in which they belong.)

Given my new sister site, I feel it is necessary for me to make a statement regarding my position on religion.

I identify as agnostic. I was raised Catholic and find that particular religion extremely patriarcal and guilt-inducing and I disagree whole-heartedly with most of the churches positions on social policies (abortion, gay unions, women in religious roles, etc, etc, etc).

As for religion as a whole, I admit that there are things that we do not understand in this universe, but I don't know that 'god' is the way to explain these unknowns. The evidence that most encourages my doubt: the fact that the role of god and religion has changed over time to roughly correspond with how much we understand about a given topic from a scientific perspective at that time (ex. - the roles that religious leaders have played over history in dealing with illness have been increasingly taken over by medical professionals as medicine has come to understand the causes of and cures for disease).

In addition to my belief that the main role of religion is to explain the as-yet unexplained, it's also become increasingly clear to me, beginning in college and into my adult life, that organized religious institutions have historically served frighteningly powerful political purposes. No better way to insure a unified voting body than to place "entrance into heaven" on the ballot!

And a few last words on evolution vs. intelligent design. [I'm sorry for those regular readers out there who have had enough of this.] The Theory of Evolution (let me remind y'all* that 'theory' in science verbiage carries far more weight than the same word used coloquially) has a hell-of-a-lotta evidence to back it up. Intelligent design? Not so much. In fact, science and religion come to points of 'understanding' through altogether different means. In science, we use the scientific method to gather evidence in support of or against a given hypothesis. Religion, on the other hand, is based almost entirely on faith and (as I see it) the lack of evidence that something else is causing a given outcome. It's true, the big macro-changes that occurred over evolutionary history are still a bit of a conundrum. But why the hell would single-celled yeast share so many genes with Homo sapiens if the two species didn't come from similar origins.

And to close: I'm not saying there is not a god(s). I'm just saying that I question his/her/its/their existence because I don't see the proof. And, as an aside, I am firmly of the belief that if there is a god, he/she/it would not exclude a kind, generous, selfless individual from the pearly gates just because that person identifies as an athiest.

And with that, I step down from my box o' soap.

* I am fully aware that my regular readers are already quite estute on this topic

La Guerre d'Etoile

I'm off to see Star Wars tonight with LL and BK as well as a few other delightful people. I refuse to read J.Bro's comments until after said viewing. Sorry, Bro. You'll get comments on your comments tomorrow.

My latest movie recommendation: CRASH! Don Cheadle (sp?) is now my favorite actor. 2 stunning performances in one years time. No, wait, he ties with Johnny Depp. Or he wins an altogether different category.

Next Stop: Elder Hostel

This will be a quick post a la Spice's brief notes about ye ol' Boston trip. I will sum up by saying (as I believe Spice will get to in more detail later) the major lesson learned from this trip: We ain't 13 anymore. In fact, we ain't 21 anymore either.

[Note to self: only stay in hostels in Japan, where conditions are lovely and tenents are respectful and quiet. Staying at elder hostels is also permitted, but we must wait a few more years before being accepted.]

My one tail of me-feeling-older-than-the-rest comes from the end of the trip. The flight back, to be precise...

After the flight crew announced that my row could board the plane (I always wait to be told to board, one of many remnants of my rule-following midwestern upbringing), I approached my row to find that everyone else failed to follow rules and were already comfortably tucked away into their seats. Having been assigned to a window seat (at my request, since I like to take arial photos of the Bay Area), this made settlement into my seat uncomfortable and difficult. Not a big deal, until the woman in the middle seat of my assigned row asked if I would switch with the woman in the seated directly behind my assigned seat. No big deal, right? I'm happy to help family stay together in flight. So I gladly agreed with little understanding of what I was choosing to do. The two girls - and I am explicitly using the word 'girl' which I only use under necessary conditions - in the middle and isle seat immediately say "do you want us to just scoot over?" (with a look of 'this is what we really want' in their eyes). I responded, "No. I'd prefer the window seat" and I quite suddenly realized that these girls are very accoustomed to getting their way. They pouted and gave me a look of disgust and scrunched into their seats as I squeezed by instead of getting out of the row so that I could properly arrange myself. With these cramped conditions, I dropped my inflight headphones and received no help.

After sitting down, the atmosphere under which I would spend the next 5.5 hours became quite clear. The girls immediately started discussing the attractiveness of the flight attendants saying, "At least the girl attendant is nice. Her hair is great too. I wonder how long it takes her to get it to look that way." One of the pilates kindly came out of the front of the plane to welcome us onboard and explain a bit about our flight and the girls spent the entire speech giggling obnoxiously because his fly happened to be down. And then they went on and on and on and on and on and on about how funny this was. They even paged the 'attractive' girl flight attendant to share the story so that she could go embarass him even more. My internal conclusion: these girls exemplify all that is evil in this world and all that I am glad I escaped by choosing an academically-oriented college and life. Their entire existance gave me chilling flashbacks to the uncomfortable and isolating early high school days when I was mature beyond my years and more interested in global warming than the latest nail polish trends.

Anyway, to sum up the rest of the trip with annoying row 2 seats D and E, here are some highlights:

- "Oh my god. I can't believe we're going to California. Before I left my boyfriend asked me to not hook up with anyone while I'm in San Francisco and I said I wouldn't hook up with just ANYONE."

- "Look at my girl Paris Hilton in this photo. She totally looks like she's gained weight since last month's photo."

- seat D: "You brought a book?!?!", seat E: "Yeah. This book changed my life. I've read it like 4 times." (Book had some title like 'How to Find Yourself.' In my world, that book wouldn't been something like 'The Catcher in the Rye' or 'Crime and Punishment.' 2 worlds sharing one row on the plane, I suppose.)

- Girl in seat E (next to me) puts a CD into her CD player (I find myself getting catty and thinking 'you're so 2002 ... where's your MP3 player?'). She proceeds to dance abnoxiously in her seat, clearly not respecting boundaries between seat E and F. I get bumped several times.

- Same girl gets up to go to the bathroom, comes back, and finds she's lost the end of her headphone line that plugs into the arm of her seat. I am almost sleeping, with book (real literature) in hand and MP3 playing relaxing music. She taps me and says, "I think you're sitting on my headphones." Then she discovers that the headphones fell between the seats. I had nothing to do with it. I shoot an annoyed look and go back to wondering if there's anything redeaming about these two.

- While watching Real World on MTV: "That girl looks totally pretty without makeup. She definitely needs to loose a little bit around the waist though."

- Both girls spend a good amount of time discussing what makes a successful diet.

- At the end of the trip, girls ask flight attendant for an alcoholic beverage. I think, "Are you even 21?!? You act like you're 17!!" They proceed to get sloshed because they're nervous about finding their way to San Francisco from Oakland.

- In discussing how to get to the hotel, one says "Let's get a cab when we get there." The other responds, "Maybe we should find a bus or something." The first replies, "Maybe I'm being way too pretentious [YES!!!!], but I really need to take a cab." [Happy me is thinking at this point, 'You have no idea how far San Francisco is from here and how large your taxi bill will be. However, I am totally unwilling to help you out and explain the public transportation system because you are ANNOYING and I'd rather the cab driver have your stinking money.']

I could go on and on and on about how annoying these girls were, but I think I would explode with annoyance. To sum, this is what I didn't say but wish I had said to them:
"You two are the exact opposite of what is good in this world. You're obnoxious, spoiled and disrespectful and I hope you have a miserable stay in our fair city. Oh, and be sure to spend your entire trip at Pier 39 because that place was created to contain dreadful individuals like yourselves. And be sure to hang out at Market and 6th for some amazing night life."

Having NOT said this, I confidently marched off to take public transportation back to my apartment where I discovered that some thieves stole the back tire of my bike while I was gone. Thank god they didn't get the frame. They tried, however. One post on the grate around our deck was sawed off at the top. Luckily, they were unable to free my precious bike. She lives inside now. She needed a tire replacement, but I'm pretty pissed that - ONCE AGAIN - something has been stolen from me. Damn thieves. They should rot in hell.

(Note: This sounds all negative. I had some very wonderful times in Boston too, including lovely reinactment of the Salem Witch Trials at the Witch Dungeon in Salem, Mass. I will blog about the more positive things later, pics included.)

List o' Things

I was really delinquint in blogging this week due to a massively pressing project at work. Project is done and I'm going to give the short version of what you've missed.

- Last weekend, I saw a documentary about 'unschooling' made by a friend of mine. It was wonderful, the best part being that one of the featured people is in my ballet class (one of the 2 men). This I did not know until he appeared on screen. A delightful surprise.

- Today I found out that a FedEX package addressed to me was delivered on April 28 and signed for by someone else using my name. Shit-tastic. Contained within said package: software worth over $1000. (Not paid for by me.)

- I have taken to watching Will and Grace re-runs, shown at 11:00 and 11:30 at night in the Bay Area. One major problem with this addiction - nighttime sleep cut down to an average of 7 hours.

- Today was bike to work day. I did not bike to work. That would have required dangerous bridge travel.

- The Onion is now available in PAPER form in San Francisco. I am very very pumped about this development. I found out when I walked down the street earlier today and saw tons of white paper-delivery box stations with 'the Onion' written in bright green. I think I'll peal into the layers of that paper on the way home.

- Our president and poop have more than one thing in common.

Until next time .... which may be a while.

Spicey Chips

Spicey Beef Melt and Hot Chips (i.e. - Spice and I) are heading to Boston for a 5-day whirlwind tour. What should we do while we're there?

(No need to say "See U2 in concert" or "Go to a (legal) gay wedding" because those things are already on the to-do list.

Perhaps a joint blog post will be coming your way....

Roomate Stories

In honor of "dig on your roomate day," here's my list:

- often my roomate will do my breakfast dishes even when I ask that he leave them for me to do
- the day I returned home from last weekend's wedding, I found that my roomate had removed the livingroom rug from the floor and had slid the couches out of normal position so that he could thoroughly clean the floors
- when I'm in a pinch, my roomate is completely willing to drive me places
- when I was sick this week, my roomate expressed genuine concern and offered to buy me drugs
- my roomate regularly invites me to join him and his friends in their revelry
- my roomate encourages me to date and, if needs be, to have random sex
- yesterday I found my roomie on the floor of the kitchen organizing our tupperwares by size, finding and securing the lid for each piece to prevent silverfish inhabitance
- on a regular basis, my roomie posts updated pictures of his adorable neice on the kitchen refrigerator

It's SO true. I'm one lucky gal. I'm staying where I live, yo.

Flakes

I'm like a new woman today! No need for drugs to make it through my day. This is very exciting. The one good thing about getting sick is the getting better. One remembers how wonderful it is to be well. I think I may break out in dance ... or not.

The one major reminder of my temorary viral visitor - my nose. All skin on the sides and tip is currently flaking off such that it looks like I have boogers hanging from my nose. THEY'RE NOT BOOGERS!!! MY NOSE IS CHAPPED!!!

My roomie, K.Kool, found it funny that I was applying chapstick to my nose this morning. I find no humor whatsoever in this situation.

Illness Update

Eyes - burning
Head - pounding
Ears - itchy
Neck - tight
Joints (all of them) - sore
Work - getting done
Ballet - not happening
Evening plans - couch-sitting
Drug of choice - Sudafed Cold and Sinus
Fluid - Crystal Light-enhanced water
Cough Drop Flavor - Cherry
Tissue Variety - Kleenex with Lotion
West Nile Virus? - hopefully not

The Race WAS Amazing!

I am SO happy about the outcome of Amazing Race!! I adore the winning couple - with their touching relationship and fantastic communication. I hope to find a relationship like theirs someday. And what are they doing with the money? Having or adopting babies. They should parent all children in this world!

Thank god Rob and Amber didn't win. And Pageant Queen and POW are really not right for each other. PQ is a b*tch. POW deserves more. (At least someone who doesn't say, "You have commitment issues. You even got out of the army by being a POW." JFC!!)

Unbalanced

Last night (correction: this morning), I woke at 4am to discover the right side of my head was pounding and stuffed up and my right nostril was oozing snot. [Too much information?] I quite suddenly, over the course of 6 hours, came down with a sinus-related cold type thing. Blech. I always forget how much getting sick sucks until I get sick.

Today, Sudafed is my coffee, coffee is my tea, and tea is my water. Lucky for me, Luden's Caugh Drops are on sale - buy one get one free - at the local RiteAid.

To let you know how off I am today, I just spelled "caugh" "coff" and, fortunately, discovered my mistake in time.

I have a 4pm meeting. Big question: will I make it? Better question: will my brain make it?

The Wedding Marathon Begins!

Yo!! The Po had the most fantastic weekend, mostly because of the 'I Do' festivities on Friday.

CF (now CFK, or CF professionally) is officially married to BK and their ceremony may count as the sweetest and most tear-jerking I've ever seen. Unlike some weddings I've been to (Spice knows which one I'm talkin 'bout), I KNEW these two were TOTALLY happy to be getting married.

The most adorable part of the entire ceremony for me was when I was walking down the isle - the first bridesmaid to appear - and I looked at the groom and found his eyes turning red and his huge grin bordering on gleeful sobs. He was truly overwhelmed with joy. And when he viewed his gorgeous bride on her father's arm walking down the isle and looking straight at him, I saw a tear or two well up in the corner of his globes while his smile turned to quivers. I don't think I've ever seen a man so incredibly thrilled at the moment of his marriage.

Apparently, he'd been quite anxious/nervous for some time prior to the ceremony and was dancing the robot to stay calm. (He does a damn good robot!) And when he was standing at the alter, his brother (and best man) was whispering in his ear, "you're dancing the robot ... think of the robot ... " and other calming and encouraging words. SO SWEET!

I think the entire wedding party, if not the entire audience, cried at some point during the ceremony. Thank god I stuffed a tissue in my bouquet.

After saying their I Dos and promanading out of the service, BK and CFK opened the floodgates and expressed their unquestionable devotion and love.

In other news:

- The food was really amazing and the spread included bacon (bits for the pasta salad)
- The DJ really knew how to get the crowd dancing and chose to play ACTUAL vinyl
- We danced the Electric Slide to that song that includes the line "hotel, motel, Holiday Inn...if your girl starts acting up, then you take her friend"
- I attempted to institute a catwalk a la RV's wedding - with no success
- More than one person said to me, "I thought bridesmaid dresses were supposed to be ugly; you guys look great!"
- The smarmy bartender, who is roughly a generation above me, said to me "I like your moves out there on the dance floor."
- The kids in the under 8 crowd were cute as heck and the flower girl felt pretty darn special, getting to hang with the bridesmaids in the limo and all.
- The (gay) hairdresser who did all the girls' hair said to me, "Your hair looks great. I love a girl who can do her own!"
- The only trisomy 21 guest in attendance wrote me a note essentially saying that she's glad we're good friends and requesting a photo (actually INCREDIBLY sweet!).
- A friend of the bride and groom made the cake and it was ABSOSMURFLY FANTASTIC!!

A few non-people-related photos coming soon!

Signing off, J to the Po

very sad

I'm switching gears today at work, from pesticides and infant growth to a survey among low-income kids about their trouble with public transportation. One child, when asked how the problems with the bus system affects him/her, answered, "I starve because I use my lunch money to take the bus." My god, that makes me sad. I'm reminded how fucking lucky I am. No wonder there's a truency problem among low inclome youth. Maybe those "troubled, badly behaved kids" are just "trying to survive by choosing lunch over school." I need to fill that child in on the free lunch program. If I knew who he/she was, I'd sponser his/her trip to school instead of my coffeehouse habit.

Ditty

A few quick comments:

- Went to see Snow Plow (Snow Patrol) last night at the Warfield. They definitely rocked out, in a loud and ear numbing kind of way. Their light display amounted to lots of colored spotlights zooming around the audience, shocking concertgoers into pseuro-drug-influenced convulsions. As companion R.Ko commented, "It was a bad sign that their first song is my favorite song off the album." My advice for the band: go with the softer, more acoustic sound...you always ruin a good tune by totally rocking out a little too hard...you want to get the audience just to the edge but not over the edge of total rock-out...and you said fuck too much, although it was said in a lovely Irish accent. I'm guessing the concert was much like the Sonic Youth experience on the REM Monster Tour. Sensory overstimulation and slight hearing loss. I'm making this sound like I totally hated the experience, which is not true. I had a genuinely good time. But I would have been just as happy at home watching 'Extreme Makeover Home Edition: How'd They Do That?!?'

- I was on jury duty this week and I TOTALLY didn't have to go to the courthouse. I was really really hoping and praying that this would happen, given that I have to show up in satin and tulle on Friday to observe and support the BK and CF nuptials. I completely gambled, I know. But I thought it likely that I'd get my duty out of the way for the year while sitting at work.

- Ballet class the day after a 25 mile bikeride is more difficult than ballet class the day after sitting on the couch watching movies. I was really off yesterday and the teach was correcting me right and left. In other ballet news, however, my seat is TOTALLY firming up. I'm loving it.

- I have a crush and I don't know what to do about it. I feel like a silly schoolgirl again.

- Coffee serves multiple purposes in my life, including medicinal ones.

Vibrators, Panties and Wine

It's been a busy and tiring weekend. To sum ...

Saturday night - bachelorette party involving, um, see above.

Sunday morning - 25 mile ride for the Tour de Cure in Napa Valley.

I will be sharing pictures. Of Sunday's activities.

I friggin love my bike. She's a Kona and she rides like butter. I can honestly say that I love her more than my boyfriend. (Okay, yea, I know.) Here she is lined up in the back of the rented family-of-six minivan, getting all excited for the ride.

Most of our ride looked something like this. It was a rough rough day.  

Ahhhh ... a bike ride through wine country. I wanted to do some wine tasting at some of the 30-odd wineries we passed along the way, but my tour mates thought otherwise. Probably wise.

When's the harvest?

Look at all those bikes! Rock on! 

This bike won J.Po's 'Best Kick Ass Set of Wheels' award for the day. Pink AND retro. What more could you want?

At the end of the ride, we were served lunch. When I saw what we were having , I got to thinking about what was served at the the Madison Tour de Cure. I chose to eat .... is there any doubt?!?

POOOOOOOORRRRKKKKK!!!! (and beans)

Two Posts in Two Days, Oh My!

Hey there. It's true - I haven't been posting a lot as of late. I've been at this new job for only 3 weeks and I'm not totally comfortable blogging at work yet. I'll likely be sharing itty bitty little tales every now and again as opposed to thoughtfully composed pieces.

Here's my little tale for today...

There's a woman who works directly behind me who I really like. On occassion, she speaks Polish on the phone, which I also really like. The other day I overheard a conversation that went something like this:

"Polish polish polish polish poslish, polish. Polish ummm... polish polish polish! Polish polish polsih white trash family polish polish. Polish, polish polish polsish."

I REALLY want to know the broader context for the few words I understood.

A perfect example of a phrase that would most definitely be lost in translation!

Who out there is paying attention?

Did any of you bloggers notice I changed my dates and times to read in Slovene? I was pretty pumped to find Slovene on the long list of language setting options.

I visited Slovenia once and knocked on the door of some distant relatives who had no idea I was coming and had no idea who I was, until they pulled out a picture of my entire extended family in which I was wearing a HUGE butterfly colar at the age of 5.

The relatives didn't speak English and I didn't speak Slovene, so when they took me out to see the small town where my great grandmother was born and raised, they brought along a translator who had been learning English for several years. When discussing the relative difficulty of our languages when it comes to pluralizing nouns (Slovene has 3 "numerical" categories for nouns - whereas we have one[single] or more than one[plural], they have one, two, or more than two), he made the most adorable comment. It went something like this:

"English is easy. You have one sheep and two sheeps."

Yea. English is WAY easy, until you get to all those exceptions.

The soundtrack for today? Free Wheelin' Bob Dylan

Keep Yo Fingers Crossed

I'm spending today doing my own altering job on the bridesmaid's dress I am to wear one week and 6 days from now. I didn't think it was appropriate to spend more on alterations than I did on the dress (CF was kind enough to get clearance dresses - $200 dresses for $50). Let's hope I don't butcher it. So far, the only mistake I've made is taking out the wrong seam (front seam instead of side seam). But I stitched it back up - no problems. I'm going to tell CF I did it myself AFTER it works.

Abortion as a Form of Birth Control

I've been spending my afternoon reading about pesticide exposure in mothers and outcomes of their children. One study comes from the Ukraine and I was shocked to read this: "Briefly, of pregnancies occurring in the chosen geographic areas and time windows, 60% were terminated for contraceptive purposes, 67% of the remaining were eligible, and 71% of those eligible participated." This made my EYES POP out of my head. 60% terminated? I figured this had to be a mistype. Then I googled the problem and read this:

'Rectly released preliminary results from the 1999 Ukraine Reproductive Health Survey document an alarming level of abortions among Ukrainian women. Almost 40 percent of all women age 15 to 44 have had at least one abortion, and 18 percent had at least two abortions. Since January 1994 almost half of all the pregnancies that ended were terminated by induced abortions, and there were more abortions reported than live births.'

SHOCKING, isn't it. You'd think there would be better, less-invasive, more safe approaches to avoiding having children. Seems there's a public health problem around fertility issues in the Ukraine. Holy crap.

Yo.

Hey Blogworld. There's one Sophist-icated woman out there celebrating her birthday today. Let's give a big shout out!

YAR!!

Meaningful Words from Statisticians

Wow, this is deep. I'm reading all about growth curves and how to model them. Here's the best part of a paper I just finished reading:

"The unwise and loose use of unstructured models may lead us to believe that all sounds are music." From Kinetic Models for Normal and Impaired Growth by S. Milani

"I'm in a glass box of emotion." -Ron Burgandy

3 Tops + 1

So last night, after an evening of viewing the Anchorman DVD with LL and BK, I came home to find KK watching Letterman, awaiting the appearance of the Four Tops. It was a re-run from the Ides of March, so clearly the performance was worth seeing again.

And then the Tops came on and I began to wonder why THIS episode was shown ... twice. It was actually sortof sad to see. 3 of the 4 tops were totally in sync with their groovy moves, as we all remember from old tape reels. And then there was the 4th top. He was going all willy-nilly, doing his own moves and lip-synching incorrect lyrics. It made me wonder if he is going a little crazy in the head. He did look a bit old and, well, odd. Very sad.

Posterage

To continue with my Ray posting....

For those of you who have been to the Fillmore, you know that you receive a commemorative poster at the end of each concert. The upstairs of the theater is wall-papered with old posters and it's super cool to see the posters that were made for such acts as Nirvana and Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young and Patti Smith and the B52's and so on and so on.

I have been to 4 Fillmore concerts and own 4 Fillmore posters. Pics will follow. Needless to say, the poster for the Ray concert is my least favorite. Disturbing.

Probably my favorite Fillmore poster - of the 4 that I own. The colors are so rich and the pic reminds me of the old west. Not that I knew the old west. But, you know. 

A poster that really accurately represents the artists. Well done, yo. The Indigo Girls must be pleased. 

Probaby my favorite female artist. And a lovely poster, don't you think? 

And then there's Ray's poster. This boy is disturbed. Yet hot.  

ray of dark

Today I find myself fascinated by Ray LaMontagne. His demeanor last night got me to thinking that his was not an average upbringing. R.Ko assisted in confirming this by sending me this link. Dude. He deserves happiness. The thing that (still) amazes me is that virtually every one of his songs is up-beat. Impressive.

Dentists and Concerts

I'm sleepy, so this will be quick...

I went to the dentist today to get my tooth re-filled after loosing the filling over a jordan almond the toher day. I ended up finding out that I need to get a crown because I don't have enough tooth left to support a filling. How much does a crown cost these days, you ask? $900. How glad am I that I decided to COBRA my dental insurance? VERY.

So I ended up with a saggy lip at ballet, and tried to smile as little as possible - lest I look like I recently had a stroke. Ballet was good, as always. We are now doing full ronde de jambes and we've added a turn to our waltz step. I will be starring in Swan Lake soon enough.

And after ballet? I saw Ray LaMontagne at the Fillmore. He was GOOOOODDDD. I didn't really know much of his music before going - just sortof tagged along with some fan friends. It was a wonderful concert experience. He seems like one of 'us' (if by 'us' I mean people who spent a goodly amount of their youth reading books and writing quizzes and existing without boyfriends/girlfriends). And he's HOT. Many times during the concert, he dabbed his brow with a giant white towel. He was sweaty and HOT. I am thinking of offering my services to be his towel girl.

It turns out I had my DELL mp3 player with me, having brought it for entertainment on the way into the city. One great benefit of this player is its ability to record up to 10 hours of sound. So I captured a large part of the concert on ye ol' player. But keep it on the DL, yo.

Garbley-gook.

Yo. I've been lacking in postage as of late. I spent all of last week preparing for my friend CF's wedding shower. It took place on Saturday. It went extrememly well. The only major bump in my well-oiled crafting and planning machine came on Friday night, when the electricty of N.Berkeley went out for a few hours - just at the time the mini-cheesecakes were about to go into the oven. So I ended up getting to bed at 4am. But I was running on the fuel of crafting, so I made it through the next day with grace.

J.Bro, or - more acurately - M.Bro, would be happy to know that I spent most of last week making a scrapbook. Not the inside, but the outside. I found a piece of lovely embroidered silk faberic in the colors of CF's wedding and covered an ugly-ass scrapbook purchased at Marshall's. I even beaded the fabric along the spine of the scrapbook. If you would allow me a moment of gloating, the book is really beautiful and CF was so happy to receive it.

This all got me to thinking that I wish I could make a living being crafty. Martha Stewart has the best life ever, minus the jailtime.

And in other news, I was supposed to start my job on Monday but the paperwork was a little stuck in process. Today I found out that I could start work tomorrow or (as the message on my phone said) Monday, if I prefer. Since I lost a filling Saturday while chewing on a jordan almond (thank you gifts for the guests of the shower), I decided to see if the dentist could see me this week and make my job decision by his availability. Got an appointment tomorrow at 4pm and decided to start work Monday.

The upshot is, I HAVE 3 MORE DAYS OF FREEDOM! So my question for you is to tell me what to do with my time!

So far on the list:
- finish duvet cover
- see LL during her "weekend"
- get my bike serviced (it desperately needs a new chain to replace the rusted one)
- walk around San Francisco
- pay bills
- make chili
- sleep in
- see Anchorman 10 more times (just bought the DVD)
- finally see Downfall (how was it, Spice?)

Any other ideas?

Please don't say 'buy something at Clinique in SF during their free gift time'. I've already purchased two things and I have 2 free gifts. There are only so many mini eyeshadow compacts I can store away. By the way, Sophist, Clinique brought back the exceptionally soothing cream for upset skin. Apparently, they got many complaints when it was pulled, including mine.