The soundtrack for today? Free Wheelin' Bob Dylan

Keep Yo Fingers Crossed

I'm spending today doing my own altering job on the bridesmaid's dress I am to wear one week and 6 days from now. I didn't think it was appropriate to spend more on alterations than I did on the dress (CF was kind enough to get clearance dresses - $200 dresses for $50). Let's hope I don't butcher it. So far, the only mistake I've made is taking out the wrong seam (front seam instead of side seam). But I stitched it back up - no problems. I'm going to tell CF I did it myself AFTER it works.

Abortion as a Form of Birth Control

I've been spending my afternoon reading about pesticide exposure in mothers and outcomes of their children. One study comes from the Ukraine and I was shocked to read this: "Briefly, of pregnancies occurring in the chosen geographic areas and time windows, 60% were terminated for contraceptive purposes, 67% of the remaining were eligible, and 71% of those eligible participated." This made my EYES POP out of my head. 60% terminated? I figured this had to be a mistype. Then I googled the problem and read this:

'Rectly released preliminary results from the 1999 Ukraine Reproductive Health Survey document an alarming level of abortions among Ukrainian women. Almost 40 percent of all women age 15 to 44 have had at least one abortion, and 18 percent had at least two abortions. Since January 1994 almost half of all the pregnancies that ended were terminated by induced abortions, and there were more abortions reported than live births.'

SHOCKING, isn't it. You'd think there would be better, less-invasive, more safe approaches to avoiding having children. Seems there's a public health problem around fertility issues in the Ukraine. Holy crap.

Yo.

Hey Blogworld. There's one Sophist-icated woman out there celebrating her birthday today. Let's give a big shout out!

YAR!!

Meaningful Words from Statisticians

Wow, this is deep. I'm reading all about growth curves and how to model them. Here's the best part of a paper I just finished reading:

"The unwise and loose use of unstructured models may lead us to believe that all sounds are music." From Kinetic Models for Normal and Impaired Growth by S. Milani

"I'm in a glass box of emotion." -Ron Burgandy

3 Tops + 1

So last night, after an evening of viewing the Anchorman DVD with LL and BK, I came home to find KK watching Letterman, awaiting the appearance of the Four Tops. It was a re-run from the Ides of March, so clearly the performance was worth seeing again.

And then the Tops came on and I began to wonder why THIS episode was shown ... twice. It was actually sortof sad to see. 3 of the 4 tops were totally in sync with their groovy moves, as we all remember from old tape reels. And then there was the 4th top. He was going all willy-nilly, doing his own moves and lip-synching incorrect lyrics. It made me wonder if he is going a little crazy in the head. He did look a bit old and, well, odd. Very sad.

Posterage

To continue with my Ray posting....

For those of you who have been to the Fillmore, you know that you receive a commemorative poster at the end of each concert. The upstairs of the theater is wall-papered with old posters and it's super cool to see the posters that were made for such acts as Nirvana and Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young and Patti Smith and the B52's and so on and so on.

I have been to 4 Fillmore concerts and own 4 Fillmore posters. Pics will follow. Needless to say, the poster for the Ray concert is my least favorite. Disturbing.

Probably my favorite Fillmore poster - of the 4 that I own. The colors are so rich and the pic reminds me of the old west. Not that I knew the old west. But, you know. 

A poster that really accurately represents the artists. Well done, yo. The Indigo Girls must be pleased. 

Probaby my favorite female artist. And a lovely poster, don't you think? 

And then there's Ray's poster. This boy is disturbed. Yet hot.  

ray of dark

Today I find myself fascinated by Ray LaMontagne. His demeanor last night got me to thinking that his was not an average upbringing. R.Ko assisted in confirming this by sending me this link. Dude. He deserves happiness. The thing that (still) amazes me is that virtually every one of his songs is up-beat. Impressive.

Dentists and Concerts

I'm sleepy, so this will be quick...

I went to the dentist today to get my tooth re-filled after loosing the filling over a jordan almond the toher day. I ended up finding out that I need to get a crown because I don't have enough tooth left to support a filling. How much does a crown cost these days, you ask? $900. How glad am I that I decided to COBRA my dental insurance? VERY.

So I ended up with a saggy lip at ballet, and tried to smile as little as possible - lest I look like I recently had a stroke. Ballet was good, as always. We are now doing full ronde de jambes and we've added a turn to our waltz step. I will be starring in Swan Lake soon enough.

And after ballet? I saw Ray LaMontagne at the Fillmore. He was GOOOOODDDD. I didn't really know much of his music before going - just sortof tagged along with some fan friends. It was a wonderful concert experience. He seems like one of 'us' (if by 'us' I mean people who spent a goodly amount of their youth reading books and writing quizzes and existing without boyfriends/girlfriends). And he's HOT. Many times during the concert, he dabbed his brow with a giant white towel. He was sweaty and HOT. I am thinking of offering my services to be his towel girl.

It turns out I had my DELL mp3 player with me, having brought it for entertainment on the way into the city. One great benefit of this player is its ability to record up to 10 hours of sound. So I captured a large part of the concert on ye ol' player. But keep it on the DL, yo.

Garbley-gook.

Yo. I've been lacking in postage as of late. I spent all of last week preparing for my friend CF's wedding shower. It took place on Saturday. It went extrememly well. The only major bump in my well-oiled crafting and planning machine came on Friday night, when the electricty of N.Berkeley went out for a few hours - just at the time the mini-cheesecakes were about to go into the oven. So I ended up getting to bed at 4am. But I was running on the fuel of crafting, so I made it through the next day with grace.

J.Bro, or - more acurately - M.Bro, would be happy to know that I spent most of last week making a scrapbook. Not the inside, but the outside. I found a piece of lovely embroidered silk faberic in the colors of CF's wedding and covered an ugly-ass scrapbook purchased at Marshall's. I even beaded the fabric along the spine of the scrapbook. If you would allow me a moment of gloating, the book is really beautiful and CF was so happy to receive it.

This all got me to thinking that I wish I could make a living being crafty. Martha Stewart has the best life ever, minus the jailtime.

And in other news, I was supposed to start my job on Monday but the paperwork was a little stuck in process. Today I found out that I could start work tomorrow or (as the message on my phone said) Monday, if I prefer. Since I lost a filling Saturday while chewing on a jordan almond (thank you gifts for the guests of the shower), I decided to see if the dentist could see me this week and make my job decision by his availability. Got an appointment tomorrow at 4pm and decided to start work Monday.

The upshot is, I HAVE 3 MORE DAYS OF FREEDOM! So my question for you is to tell me what to do with my time!

So far on the list:
- finish duvet cover
- see LL during her "weekend"
- get my bike serviced (it desperately needs a new chain to replace the rusted one)
- walk around San Francisco
- pay bills
- make chili
- sleep in
- see Anchorman 10 more times (just bought the DVD)
- finally see Downfall (how was it, Spice?)

Any other ideas?

Please don't say 'buy something at Clinique in SF during their free gift time'. I've already purchased two things and I have 2 free gifts. There are only so many mini eyeshadow compacts I can store away. By the way, Sophist, Clinique brought back the exceptionally soothing cream for upset skin. Apparently, they got many complaints when it was pulled, including mine.

Secrets

So I found my way to postsecret.blogspot.com, thanks to the newest member of the blog-ring (Theo). It got me to thinking about my deepest secret. It didn't take long....

On occassion, I enjoy the tuneful delights of musical theater. Nothing like rousing versions of "Seasons of Love" (rent) or "Turn Back, Oh Man" (godspell) to get my foot tapping.

Lucky for me, the newest instructor of my ballet class chooses to have us do our plies and releves to symphonic versions of Broadway classics. The other day, I founds myself doing tendu battements to "76 Trombones" from the Musicman. I found if excedingly difficult to maintain my formal classical ballet posture. I wanted to break into jazz hands.

Sophist, as seen on G3 PowerBook 

The equiptment I had to work with over the last few. My beloved G3 PowerBook. It must be considered out of date, since I was unable to download an updated Netscape onto the hard drive. So your blogs looked weird as hell over the last few. I snapped some pics so you can see yourselves in an old-timey manner. Enjoy. 

Grrbear, Untitled. pixels on screen, macintosh. 

J.Bro, circa 2000. 

Oh sweet sweet blog! I can see you again, icons and all.

I'm at EH's place in Davis, using her DELL Inspiron 4100 - my model, one year older. The hinge is totally intact and the AC adaptor is good as new. What the hell happened to my computer? I have a feeling EH is not as abusive to her laptop as I am to mine. I need to be more careful in the future.

Needless to say, my blogging will be spotty at best. The ol' G3 PowerBook is way out of date even though it was the computer used by Carey Bradshaw of Sex and the City. Bear with me, people. I should be back online soon.

3...2....1 DISTRUCT!

The other day, Sophist, BikeBoy, and I were tossing around the idea that high-tech equiptment (cameras, MP3 players, computers, etc) are probably designed to self-distruct roughly 2 days after expiration of the warrenty. I was doubtful, but totally enjoyed the conversation.

This morning, my doubts vanished. I woke up, prepared my cereal, turned on the tube for 'the View', and - as always - fetched my computer for some morning e-mail-checking and blogging. But what did I find? Well..... The top of the laptop was off-line from the bottom and when I tried to open the top to see the screen, I heard some cracking and scraping. Okay, problematic. But I figured I could at least get online. No. The computer didn't even turn on. Nothing. Nada. Zip. It was fine last night at 11:30pm and I wake up this morning to total blankness. After tinkering a bit with the machine, the right hinge that connects the screen to the base of the computer completely broke off. So now I have a very sad looking and non-working DELL sitting on my desk.

So how am I blogging you ask? As it turns out, I still have my PowerBook G3 purchased in the spring of 2000. It works perfectly and hooks to the internet old-fashioned style: by the phone line. One of the plethera of AOL free 2 month trial CDs finally came in handy. The only bizarre thing? My version of Netscape is so old that everything looks more like HTML than 2005 web style. My blog is so funny looking. All of your blogs are funny looking. It's been an interesting look at how much things have changed in 5 years!

Soon my Dell will be off to the doctor. We'll see if anything can be done. Thank god I've been backing up my hard drive!T

In No Particular Order

1.) Does anyone out there know the band Snow Patrol? If so, are they worth seeing? They're coming through town and I'm considering.

2.) Ballet got even better today. We got a new teacher (who will be one of 3 people who teach us, in rotation). He has NO qualms about pointing out peoples' errors and accomplishments. I really like his style. No beating around the bush. And he has the most amazing way of describing EXACTLY how positions should feel when you're doing them correctly. Today, when I happened to be the one singled out by the new teacher, it went something like this:

teach: [J.Po's real name], how tall are you?
J.Po: 5'10"
teach: How tall should you be in tendu battement?
J.Po: Tendu what-did-you-say?
teach: Tendu battement (he does the move while repeating the name)
J.Po: How tall should I be in tendu battement? (J.Po quickly does the move) ... 5'10"
teach: Precisely!! You got it right!!! Keep extending out of your standing leg and raise up while doing tendu battement

3.) Today at a Wendy's restaurant in San Jose, someone got more than beans and sauce when they ordered the cup of chili. They also got a finger. Apparently, a health and safety investigation is underway. Well, YEA!!!!!

4.) I was TOTALLY offered a job today. I am TOTALLY taking it if I make enough to cover my COBRA (the position is under 6 mo...no insurance). This should be just fine, since it pays more than my last gig anyway. Speaking of the last gig, I had to go into the office today to help make sense of some of my work that was picked up by someone else. A few hours later, I was pretty glad I've moved onto other things.

5.) 2 things I learned about myself today: a.) I like people. b.) I'm a much better conversationalist after a cup of coffee.

PICTURES TAKEN DURING MY DAY OUT. ENJOY!!! I am not doing this to increase Grrbear's pain around not yet knowing how to post photos.

My view from the top of stairs walking away from the Exploratorium. See that woman wearing orangey-yellow? I saw her go up and down 5 flights of stairs about 4 times during my one ascent. My excuse? Taking pictures and soaking in the beauty while getting soaked.

Pretty flower with evidence of the weather. 

The next 2 photos are things I saw at the museum. Guess what they are! It'll be a really fun game!! (I applaud creativity before correctness.)

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

The Exploratorium is quite aesthetic, especially when soaked in water. 

Swan built and sat in nest....in the rain. 

It was very very wet.

Hey Grrbear, click on that little photo icon to go to "hello" from Picasa. There's software that allows blogger and Hello to communicate. Spice filled me in on this and it was a snap to get working.

G or ET?

I was in San Francisco for the majority of the day. Had a doc appointment, went to the beloved Canvas Cafe, took the #43 to the Exploratorium, hung with my girl LL, ate a rather tasty hot dog, checked out the optics exhibit, walked south on Lyon Street (gorgeous! ), went to Trader Joe's, bused downtown and......

FOUND MYSELF PLAYING A ROUSING GAME OF GAY OR EUROTRASH!!

Being that I've been checking out all red-blooded Y-chromosome carrying humans in my presence, I was scanning the possibilities while walking to the BART. I found myself thinking to myself over and over and over again, "He's gatta be gay." True, not atypical in San Francisco. But downtown is never THIS fabulously gay. Then I figured it out. I noticed that virtually everyone in earshot was speaking French, German, Polish, etc, etc...apparently Europe has descended on the Bay Area. And the game began.

I Want to See Comments Galore!

I'm in a wedding in May. The wedding shower is coming up in a few weeks. I want to give a few personal gifts. Included among these gifts, I will make a CD of truly delightful lovey-dovey songs. The bride doesn't read my blog. So, here's today's blogworld task: list all genuine love songs you know. Like - real love songs. I don't want to see REM's 'The One I Love' on the list.

(Spice, I know. We've done this before. But all I can remember is 'Never Before' from the Muppet Movie.)

boys

ANYONE KNOW ANY SINGLE, HOT, STRAIGHT MEN IN THE GREATER BAY AREA? Send them my way. I'm ready to date ... but for some reason there isn't a line of men waiting to greet me at the door. WTF?!?! Do I have to scream from the rooftops "I WANT TO DATE!!!"???

Candy As Muse

There's this one spot at the corner of Rose and Milvia that smells JUST LIKE these candies. I always slow down my bike when I get there. The scent is so fake and yet so real. It's a bouquet of natural smells combining to form a beautiful pseudo- synthetic aroma. Absolutely fantastic!

Friday

Tomorrow is a very big day. The movie ICE PRINCESS will finally be in theaters near you!!!

I got a job interview!! Friday. 1pm. Local department of public health. Very exciting.

Hands on Science

Today I go to the museum to visit LL and see her workplace. I'm getting there by bike. Very fun, especially since the weather here is quite delightful. On my way to the Castro for ballet, I'm going to stop at Filmore to buy a real live leotard and pink tights.

More Songs

Okay, so I really like surveys with distinct boundaries and rules. But I think it's impossible to list only 5 songs that I really like or that mean a lot to me. So I'm going to continue my list. In fact, I may chime in on a semi-regular basis with a 5 song list.

Today's 5 songs (okay... 6):

Bob Dylan's Dream - as written by Bob Dylan and sung by Peter, Paul and Mary (lyrics below)
Chief - Patty Griffin (one of her upbeat numbers, based on a real Viet Nam vet)
Braided Hair - Track 5 on the One Giant Leap CD featuring Speech from Arrested Development
Raining in Baltimore - Counting Crows
Both Hands - Ani DiFranco
Verdi Cries - 10,000 Maniacs

Bob Dylan's Dream While riding on a train goin' west, I fell asleep for to take my rest. I dreamed a dream that made me sad, Concerning myself and the first few friends I had. With half-damp eyes I stared to the room Where my friends and I spent many an afternoon, Where we together weathered many a storm, Laughin' and singin' till the early hours of the morn. By the old wooden stove where our hats was hung, Our words were told, our songs were sung, Where we longed for nothin' and were quite satisfied Talkin' and a-jokin' about the world outside. With haunted hearts through the heat and cold, We never thought we could ever get old. We thought we could sit forever in fun But our chances really was a million to one. As easy it was to tell black from white, It was all that easy to tell wrong from right. And our choices were few and the thought never hit That the one road we traveled would ever shatter and split. How many a year has passed and gone, And many a gamble has been lost and won, And many a road taken by many a friend, And each one I've never seen again. I wish, I wish, I wish in vain, That we could sit simply in that room again. Ten thousand dollars at the drop of a hat, I'd give it all gladly if our lives could be like that.

A Commissioned Blog

As per Sophist's request (see her blog), I am going to complete the following survey. Please follow my lead and add your own details.

1. Total amount of music files on your computer?
6.84 GB, 2499 files

2. The last CD you bought was:
I purchased 2 yesterday - It's Hard to Find a Friend (Pedro the Lion), Eveningland (hem)

3. What was the last song you listened to before reading this message?
Big Trucks - Pedro the Lion

4. Write down five songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you.
Useless Desires - Patty Griffin
America - Simon and Garfunkel
Nightswimming - REM
Be Around - Uncle Tupelo
Idioteque - Radiohead

5. What 3 people are you going to pass this baton to and why?
The bloggidy blogtastic blogworld - Spice, J.Bro, Grrbear

And Away We Go...

It's official. The job search is on. I just sent off my first resume/cover letter. I'm actually pretty interested in the position and it happens to be one that can only last for 6 months - perfect for someone who is still confused about what she wants to spend her life doing.

Now I'm going to start composing my cover letter for a position for which I would have to be 'comfortable' traveling to Zimbabwe and South Africa. Comfortable?!?!?! Try 'that would be the reason to take the job!' (Aside from the fact that I think the research could add substantially to our battle with HIV.)

I finally feel like I have purpose again.

OMG!

Oh my goodness! People at the Forum show on KQED public radio actually read and RESPOND to e-mails about topics of discussion.

This morning's topic on the 9am hour of said show was on the debate about whether or not to errect a barrier to prevent successful completion of suicide attempts from the Golden Gate Bridge. I usually don't think about commenting on radio shows (except, perhaps, Car Talk), but this topic is particularly close to my public health and mental health heart.

I caught the last half of the show and finally decided to share my two cents 8 minutes before the end, so my ideas were not well supported or explained, but I had to say something. Why? Because so many people were arguing that those who've decided to commit suicide will do it whether or not they are able to jump off the bridge and that building a barrier is not fiscally responsible.

Okay - a few things. First, most other "magnets" for suicide attempt (ex. - Eiffel Tower, Crysler Building) have implemented suicide interventions of the "physical barrier to completion" variety. Second, the act of suicide is often very impulsive and reconsidered by the potential victim if not completed. And, finally, there are many non-fiscally-responsible things that ARE currently funded.

This fiscally responsible piece drives me batty and there was a big part missing from today's discussion. Consider the fact that, over the years since the completion of the Golden Gate Bridge, an average of 18 people a year have committed suicide from this structure. With the bridge completed in 1937, this means that 1224 deaths may have been prevented by a barrier to jumping. Taking a totally cold and economic approach to this situation, consider the economic cost of lives lost compared to the cost of building a barrier. Just a thought.

In any case, I digress. The real point of this blog is to say that I wrote an e-mail and, about 6 hours later, received an actual response indicating that the show's host actually read what I had to say. Fantastic! Here's what was said:

My e-mail (Admittedly not my best work and not necessarily factually correct. I was under pressure to have my voice heard.):

Thank you so much for your program on the Golden Gate
Bridge and the debate about errecting a barrier to
prevent suicide attempts.  I am astounded to hear that
a majority of your e-mails and calls from listeners
carry the message that a barrier is not necessary.  In
my opinion, the prevention of suicide is a public
health concern and deserves attention through a
governing body.  The bridge was, after all, built by
public funds.  The prevention of injury and death via
this bridge should also be supported publically.  To
me, I see a barrier on the bridge as being similar to
interventions such as traffic lights to prevent
traffic accidents.  

Response from show host:

Thanks for your comments, [J.Po's first name]. A number
of listeners have voiced their dismay that so many
callers and emailers vehemently opposed the idea
of a barrier.

Be well,
[Show Host]

Movin' Right Along

Could it be? Could it ACTUALLY be? Could it be that I will be leaving the Bay Area soon?

This possibility scares me, excites me, calms me, thrills me, frightens me, saddens me, etc, etc, etc. But I think it may be time. Change is in the air and it's calling me to act. I find myself at a crossroads and there is something deep in my gut telling me to move on.

I can tell I recognize the imminence of this move. Each time I go outside, take a trip across the bridge, or see the San Francisco skyline, I find myself soaking in the beauty of the surroundings that will soon hear my goodbyes. There is some tangible evidence of my move to uproot. None of my cover letters carry California zip codes. They are all directed east of the Mississippi.

I never really belonged here anyway. I've been a square peg in a round hole.

FAME!

My ballet class starts tomorrow night. VERY VERY EXCITING! I've already selected my outfit.

Gettin' Juggy With It

I had the most fantastic evening. I went to see and ACTUAL jug band, complete with rusty old washboard, washtub bass made of broom handle and tub, banjo with ratty rope as a strap, and - you guessed it - a jug. This group is no collection of mere amatures. No way! Those juggers were downright loaded with talent and they played the hell outta those instruments. As hard as I tried, I could not stop tapping my foot to the beat and I was damn sad when their set came to an end.

Some of you out there know that I have an (unhealthy) obsession with jug bands, which I believe stems from the Muppet Show (see exibit A above). The issue with my obsession prior to this eve was that I didn't have a regular source of jug band entertainment. This has quite suddenly changed. And I believe it's time that I assume my new professional role: Jug Band Groupie. Yeah!

amazing race

I have NEVER watched this show. But I am already hooked to this season. I LOVE the gay couple and the mother/son team (there's a gay theme going on here). I also enjoy the female best friends (NOT the barbi dolls).

The race is on.

Wha?!?!?!

Today, while riding my bike back from the fabric store, I saw an SUV with a vanity plate that read: "RTHR WLK"

Does this bother others as much as it bothers me??

oscar

It was a good night for Oscar. I laughed, I cried, I saw Johnny wearing the teeth of Captail Jack Sparrow on the red carpet. Cate Blanchet was stunning in her butter yellow gown with maroon waiste scarf. And Natalie Portman appeared all grown up, wearing a mature couture piece to match her mature role in Sideways. Chris Rock did a fantastic job of "not" talking about politics, using the Gap and Banana Republic as a suiting metaphore for the catastropy that is the Bush administration. Of all audience members, Alan Alda wins the award for most enthusiastic. He appeared genuinely pleased for each and every nominee and winner and he was truly delighted "just to be nominated". And then there's Oprah. I became, once again, keenly aware of the power that is Oprah - with her front section seat and many mentions, despite her non-direct invovlement in film.

Oscar certanly had its weak points. Like, what was the deal with Beyonce? Beyonce wearing obnoxious green dress with matching eyeshadow singing with many young boys; Beyonce wearing too much gown, too much hair, too much makeup and a necklace that was the chandellier from the Phantom of the Opera, with cameo appearance by the phantom himself; Beyonce wearing sparkly blue mermaid gown singing next to that young hotty with mop-top hair and puppy-dog eyes. Far too much of Beyonce this evening. And I also give a big thumbs down to the unusual means of award delivery - from the stage to the isleway to the balcony. It didn't work for me.

And then there's the best part of the night: Clint Eastwood on the red carpet. He introduced Flat Stanley, who is part of a project for his daughter's school. My guess is that there's a real Stanley out there who is going to be pretty excited to find that Flat Stanley travelled to the Oscars. What a score!*

*if you don't understand the Flat Stanley thing, ask me or Spice. we'll fill you in.

All Bets are On

I'm going to yoga tomorrow morning. There are a few options. All you bloggers out there are welcome to bet on what will happen. I promise to report on the truth by tomorrow afternoon. Happy betting!

1. J.Po will go to the 8:30am-9:45am class so that she can get it in before coffee.

2. J.Po will go to the 10:30am-11:45am class so that she can get some "other" exercise in before the yoga.

3. J.Po will go to the gym but yoga will not be in the mix. Instead, she will choose to spin her legs on a bike that is attached to a television - which will allow her to view the View ('it's the view -do-do-do it's the view').

3. J.Po will forgo the gym altogether because there are 12 more episodes of the 3rd season of the West Wing to be seen - and Josh is finally getting some action after admitting that he studied too much in school and missed all training in dating.

Next bet in the queue.... Who do you think will win American Idol based on the 24 performances that occurred over the last 2 days. (I think that woman with the fantastically frizzed-out hair who wore jeans and sang some sexy song. She's great!)

Deals Deals Deals

The last thing I should be doing right now is shopping. No job, no current promise of a job, no desire to look for a job. But a few things make me feel okay about laying down a few bucks. First, the IRS owes me this year. Second, shopping is like meditation for me - and I need a little calm in my life right now. Third, I have a few rehearsal dinners headed my way and I would like to look spiffy. So this morning, I took a trip to the cit-ay and went to Ross and Marshalls. Little did I know how many bargains I would find. Here is the breakdown of the deal-ios.

Item, My Cost (Retail Cost)

T21 exercise pants, $16.00 ($198.00)
Tahari box pleat skirt, $3.49 ($200.00)
Joie army green sweater, $30.00 ($235.00)
Tahari sleeveless sweater, $10.00 ($158.00)
BCBG skirt and top set, $59.99 ($380.00)

For some reason, really really expensive clothing has recently been liquidated through bargain stores. Huh.

...and the Slash'n'Burn begins....

I have spent the last 2 months ignoring the fact that we have 4 more years of craptastic leadership to look forward to. How much can really happen in 4 years? I think we learned the answer to that question during the last 4.

Today I started to dig into the meaning behind this thing I've been ignorning. Here you can find a list of proposed cuts to government-sponsored (mostly domestic) programs.

The cut that hit me hardest? Upward Bound. My mom volunteered for that program back in the day. It's another one of those programs established by democrats to give the impoverished hope of escaping the mad cycle of poverty. I guess it's more important to give tax breaks to the rich and increase funds to continue an unjustifiable and messy war.

Mon Pied (My Fizzy)

My foot in a ballet slipper. People in the know say I have good feet. This should be enough to get me into the over-filled ballet class. But no. I must wait.

BUT MY FEET MUST DANCE!

And thanks to Spice....

"My fizzy in a ballet slippa. People in tha know say I hizzy good feet like a motha fucka. This should be enough ta git me into tha cracka ballet class . Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos. But no and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow. I M-to-tha-izzust wait . Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin."

Toaster Disaster II. Explorations in lighting. (Digital in jpeg format.) 

Stuff and more Stuff

Todays post will not be centered around a particular theme. Instead, it will be a hodge-podge of things that must be noted for the general interest of my faithful readers. Then again, maybe the theme should be chaos since that was the theme of my week, of my workplace, and of my current state of mind.

1) Today in the mail, I received the winter 2004-2005 edition of the publication 'Ecu Link,' which is put out by the National Council of Churches USA. Now, how the hell did I get signed up for this publication containing articles taking positions that are completely opposite to my own? Perhaps they got a hold of the Planned Parenthood donors list and tried to infiltrate the growing pool of morally bankrupt, goddless liberals. One of the articles in this periodical begins, "Human beings are 'fearfully and wonderfully made' by God, according to the Bible. Our wondrous makeup includes the ability and drive to decode secrets of the created order through scientific inquiry and to apply discoveries in ways that have changed our enviroument and the way we live." You can imagine where it goes from there. All I need to say is that the word 'nanotechnology' gets used an awful lot.

2) Today during lunch with a new friend, conversation drifted to the oft-discussed topic of the Boy in the Bubble. I haven't thought about the Boy in the Bubble since I was about 9, when I learned what now strikes me as an inordinate amount of information about said Boy. It only occurred to me today that virtually everyone in the X Generation knew of Bubble Boy and his extremely tender immune system. A tragic story, really. But for some reason it makes me giggle that so many of us knew SO MUCH about the Boy. Where is he now? My lunch companion suspects he has passed. I will be investigating the story soon. Expect a blog about my findings.

3) The beginning adult ballet class I was hoping to join at the end of this month is full. There is a good chance that another class will be formed. There are currently 9 people on the non-class class list. I am number 9. If they get enough people to sign up, I can fulfill my lifelong dream. Therefore, if you know anyone in the greater San Francisco Bay Area who is over 18 and would like to learn ballet, send them to me or my blog and I will provide approporiate directives.

4) My apartment still smells like burnt toast.

5) I choose the same New Year's resolution every year and I always wander off path around February. The pattern continues. Two days this week, I failed to floss my teeth. Someone recommended that I try with a less ambitious goal and floss one or two teeth each day - build up over time to the whole set.

6) I will be jobless very very soon and I cannot wait. The fear will probably set in after about 1 week without work. But fear can be the first step toward very positive changes. I might find myself doing exactly what I want to do. 'Exactly what I want to do' changes for me all the time. Right now, I think I want to work for an organization like the Center for Science in the Public Interest. Anyone out there have connections?

7) The Oscars are fast approaching and I still have to see Million Dollar Baby, Ray, and Sideways. Though I can pretend all I like, Hotel Rwanda will never be up for Best Picture. How did it go unrecognized?

8) It's beginning to dawn on me that mine was not an average American childhood. Spice has stimulated this thinking with her recent blog about early evidence of dorkdom. Perhaps it was not 'average' that my parents to took me to several Peter, Paul and Mary concerts and that my dad allowed me to stay up beyond bedtime on Fridays to watch Wall Street Week (PBS).

Crazymakers: a definition

Crazymakers break deals and destroy schedules.
Crazymakers expect special treatment.
Crazymakers discount your reality.
Crazymakers spend your time and money.
Crazymakers triangulate those they deal with (set
people against each other)
Crazymakers are expert blamers.
Crazymakers hate schedules - except their own.
Crazymakers deny that they are crazymakers.

How was my day, you ask?!? This was the result of my dinner and it wasn't the worst part. Sheesh. Tomorrow is another day. 

Face Reality

Saturday I went to my first memorial service for a victim of suicide. I haven't know the diceased for long - only during the last few painful months of her life. The service showed me the OTHER side - the woman who, when not under the burden of depression, squeezed every moment out of life and appreciated the immense beauty of the world around her. It was so good to get exposure to that dimension of her existence. I came away knowing that, despite the fear and horror and anger she felt at the time of her death, she lived a full life that included many times of great joy.

One moment in the service pissed me off to no end. During the "come up and say a few thoughts if you would like" part, some guy tried to convince us that her death was an accident. What about this makes you think accident?!?:

At 2 in the morning, she drove her wheelchair 5 miles from her residence to train tracks and put the chair in high gear as a train was approaching.

Face it - depression is a dreadfully dark and painful disease that, in this case, led to a dreadfully horrific end. Don't dishoner her by indicating that she didn't do it to herself. In the end, she finally took control of this thing that had control of her for so long.

I am sad and angry and hurt and horrified and concerned about the driver of that train and the family she left behind. The scene plays out over and over in my mind - and I wonder about the look on her face, the last things that went through her mind, the temperature in the air at the time of the incident, etc, etc. But when I cease asking questions and wondering why, I find some solace in the fact that she no longer feels the endless hurt and anxiety about having to get through every minute of her exhausting, dreadful, scarey, horrifyingly difficult, time-ticks-by-so-slowly-and-painfully day. She ended that struggle.

And she touched my life.

WOW!

THIS was the view from my apartment window the other day. DAMN!

Stomach Pain

You need surf your way to this HI-LARIOUS site!!!

I'm Seeing Red

Just a day after J.Bro wrote this blog, I found myself in an elevator. Yes it's true, J.Bro's post is related to my trip from floor 11 to ground. How, you ask? Well....

At the 5th floor, the elevator stopped and a smartly-dressed, tall, handsome man entered. After selecting his destination floor, he reached in his coat pocket and asked if I wanted to support the local firehouses. I enthusiastically said, "Sure!" Then he handed me a small cellophane bag containing one fire-engine red awareness bracelet that reads: 'City Hall Keep Our Firehouses Open.' I said to him, "I hear these bracelets are becoming very popular." (Stupid, but I was blinded by his cuteness and I oh-so-recently read J.Bro's post.) He responded, "Yes, and this is OUR cause." Then he exited the elevator and I took a deep god-he-was-hot-AND-he's-a-fireman breath. Whew.

Long Incubation at Room Temperature

Last Tuesday before to work, I prepared a tupperware full of pasta for lunch. About 10 minutes after getting to work, I realized that I couldn't find said tupperware. I searched the obvious places in the office, couldn't find the pasta, and figured I left it at home.

But when I got home? Not there.

My mind was set a-flutter. Conspiracy theories were brewing. A container of pasta doesn't just disappear.... or does it? But who would conspire to steal.....pasta?!?!

And so my mad investigation commenced. I searched and searched and searched for that tupperware - considering anyone who might have a vendetta against me, asking 'where would I be if I were a tupperware', wondering if I'd eaten the pasta without knowing it, etc, etc, etc. But after 5 days, with the pasta still mysteriously missing, I decided to take it as a loss and move onto more important concerns (i.e. - thinking about Johnny Depp).

And then yesterday at work, while retrieving a file from the second drawer of my filing cabinet, I located my tupperware....still full of pasta. For some reason, when I was storing my lunch last Tuesday, my mind replaced 'refrigerator' with 'second drawer of filing cabinet'.

Am I losing my mind? Yes. But that's not the most disturbing part of this tale. This takes the cake: when I opened the tupperware to toss the pasta that was sitting for a week at room temperature, it smelled ... well .... fine! You'd think that 7 days without refrigeration would result in a stanktacular stankerrific stanky stank. Not so. Huh.

3 + 9 = too much extraneous information

Yesterday I went to Safeway to pick up coffee beans, fresh bread, and eggs. At the end of my 3-item-purchase, I was given a receipt that measures 12 inches in length. My reaction? WTF?!?!?!?! In my opinion, there is no need for a receipt longer than 3 inches (one inch for each item).

Here's what I learned from the other 9 inches:
- I saved $3.30 by using my club card (i.e. my home phone number).
- The system has my home phone number registered under Debra Sheldon ('thank you Ms. Sheldon').
- The total percentage of savings using my home phone number was 22%.
- I can save $50 by buying my Disneyland Resort Park Hopper Tickets at Safeway.
- I should look out for flags on purchases that can be submitted for Health Care Flex Spending Account reimbursement.
- I have purchased 0 of 7 items toward my 1st FREE HALLMARK CARD.
- I have purchased 0 of 7 items toward my 1st FREE DELI SANDWICH.
- I can contact Safeway at 1-877-723-3929 or safeway.com.
- I visited the Safeway Store #691 at 1444 Shattuck Place.

Who actually reads all that shit?

Fave of 1/31/05

The fact that I have a source for Girl Scout Cookies and that my purchase will go toward funding 'Camporee'.

Favorite thing: Sun. Jan. 30, 2005

This web site. I go here every 6 months or so. I especially enjoy the comments about Small Wonder. Girl as robot - priceless.

Worst Ending Ever

New poll: Worst movie ending ever.

I experienced mine last night. I rented 'The Secret Window' to continue with my plan to see every movie Johnny Depp has ever been in (I realize this will force me to see 'Nightmare on Elmstreet'). The ending of SW was terrible. The movie jumped the shark right around the time his character's watch got stuck on the stick shift of a truck that he was running off a cliff. It went from bad to worse to an abominable final shot. All I will say is: close-up on J.Depp's mouth, an ear of corn, a bite, and creative sound effects. My roomate and I watched it several times. I lauged harder than I have in months.

Favorite Thing: Sat. Jan. 29, 2005

My new pants. See below.

2.28% Sure Ain't Much

Those of you who know me know that some of my finest achievements have come in the arena of bargain shopping. I go to bargain stores - the Marshall's and TJMax's of the world - not to find particular items, but to ferret out the TRUE deals.

Over the years, I've streamlined my bargain shopping process to maximize efficiency and minimize cost. I've established the following steps for successful deal-making:

- enter store
- proceed immediately to women's designer label section
- quickly flip from one hanger to the next looking only for label
- locate clothing bearing label of interest*
- then, and only then, zoom in on product
- first search for retail value on original price tag, if available. what is the actual value of product and how much will be saved with discount price?
- evaluate the item by asking the following: at first glance, do I like the look? if yes, proceed. is it my size? if yes, proceed. do I like the hue? if no, search for same item, different color. if yes, proceed to dressing room.

Repeat until completion of women's size M rack.
If desiring a true bargain, execute process on Clearance rack.

* BCBG, DKNY, Max Studio, Tahari, Kenneth Cole, etc.
_________________________________________________________________

Last night, during a quick stop-n-search at the local Ross Dress for Less, I hit my crowning achievement in bargain shopping. Whil executing the steps, I came upon a pair of Tahari slacks (a rare find at Ross).

At first glance? Very very stylish. Were they my size? Yes - women's 8. Did I like the color? Yes - a subtle plaid made of deep browns and olive green and burnt red. I proceeded to dressing room, slid on the pants (the fabric is unlike the cottons and polyesters I am accustomed to), and looked in the mirror. Fabulous. It was as though these slacks were MADE for me by Elie Tahari herself, except or the extreme length (an indicator of quality clothing and the need for a hem job). Do I need such an item? Yes - they fill my large void of professional wear.

One problem: the pants had been stripped of the Ross price tag. This can become a monumental issue at the Ross Dress for Less because, often, there are no similar items for price comparison. Such was the case last night. I thought I was going to have to leave the perfect pants behind, but a wonderful hard-working floor clerk searched for 20 minutes for another pant for price scan. The stand-in price tag was found in the Clearance section. The cost of the clearance pants? $5.43. When she said this, I was overcome by the buzz that only occurs with very very good deals.

In conclusion, I bought a pair of pants that retails at $238 (Nordstrom) for $5.43. I paid 2.28% of retail cost. I have outdone myself.

You Need to Find Your Way to 'Finding Neverland'

For the first time ever, I plan to see each and every movie nominated for the 2005 Best Picture Oscar.

Tonight I aimed to check 'Hotel Rwanda' off the list. Apparently, everyone else in the East Bay shared this idea, so my friends and I saw 'Finding Neverland' instead.

Quick review:

Two hours of Johnny Depp never fails to be a delightful experience. Watching him for two hours in THIS film has proven to be magically fantastical. A man, a dream, some boys in need of imaginative escape, a relationship that goes from cold to icy, an evil mother, a dying love, and a little light named Tinkerbell. This little film about a big imagination had me crying my way to the final bow. Let's hope Depp continues to bow his way to the Oscar win. I give it two enthusiastic blows of fairy dust.

Favorite Thing: Fri. Jan. 28, 2005

The image in my head of Spice, J.Bro and Kathy playing freeze tag.

Favorite Thing: Thurs. Jan. 27, 2005

The earings I'm wearing (and made 3 weeks ago).

Favorite Thing: Wed. Jan. 26, 2005

My new Iron & Wine downloads from iTunes.

(There was so much enthusiasm for this daily exercise on the first day. You people have lost your interest. Find it again!)

What is the world coming to??

Last night while surfing for some good TV, I was unable to find good TV. Instead, I happened upon the Dr. Phil show (not difficult when you live in an area that has a station DEVOTED to news and Dr. Phil). To my horror, Bill Cosby was the main guest and HE was doing a Dr. Phil number on some troubled youth (with some hyper-editing obviously involved). The episode was called 'the Dr. Phil and Dr. Bill Show.'

Presumably, Dr. Bill is trying to improve his image after some recent comments that angered segments of the black community. But dude, he chose the DR. PHIL show!! Not exactly the kind of audience that can understand his somewhat complicated and racially difficult ideas.

I have great respect for Dr. Bill Cosby. But I sure hope he stops dropping in on Dr. Phil. 'Guy originally from the projects meets guy from Texan wealth' doesn't exactly sit well with me. I would be delighted to hear what Dr. Cosby has to say, but I'd much rather hear it at one of his townhall meetings or on the Oprah Show or on NPR.

I'm not so sure where the 'Dr.' in 'Dr. Phil' comes from. But, given the little I know about psychology and therapy, his way of trying to fix people by telling them 'like it is' just ain't right. Cosby, on the other hand, tends to council bodies of the populus on what he sees as concerns for the future of America's children and black communities. Now that is worthy of discussion, coming from someone who hase seen the spectrum.

Favorite Thing: Tues. Jan. 25, 2005

My financial assistance package from the local YMCA.

In the Spirit of Oprah

It's time that one of us starts a semi-regular report on our current 'favorite things.' I've decided to take this burden upon myself.

Favorite thing (January 24, 2005 at 4:52 PST):
tangelo purchased from produce market at Shattuck X Vine. yummm...

lunchie munchie

By the advice of a dear friend, I had split pea soup for lunch yesterday. It was a very very good choice. One of you out there knows why.

KB Appears Again and Again: Star Sightings for Intellectual Types

Last night I had a dream that I ran into Ken Burns (of documentary film-making fame) on the steps of the new lab building at UCSF. I said, "I love every one of your documentaries!" He responded, "Didn't I meet you in Florida?" I answerd, "Yes."

This is not my first run-in with Mr. Burns. I had a non-fantasized interaction with him at a visitor's center in Denali National Park on a snowy day in August of 2003. That time it went something like this:

[Traveling team gets off of bus and walks toward visitor's center to see Mt. McKinley. It's snowing and traveling team walks quickly to reach warmth.]

Traveling friend #1: 'I think I just saw Ken Burns walk by.'

J.Po: 'NO WAY!!'

[J.Po makes 180 degree turn to chase down KB. Remaining members of traveling team follow with hesitation. J.Po finds van of film crew and points in amazement at KB. Film crew manager gets out of van.]

Manager of K.Burns film team (sporting a fine fleece jacket with the Jazz documentary emblem): 'Would you like a photo with Ken Burns?'

Traveling team: 'YES!!!'

[Ken Burns emerges from van.]

Mr. Burns: [After noticing sweatshirts of traveling team] 'Did you all go to Carleton College?'

Team: 'Yes!'

Traveling friend #2: 'You know of Carleton?'

Mr. Burns: 'Yes. [with PBS/NPR-style wit] I've been everywhere.'

Traveling friend #3: 'What are you doing in Denali?'

Mr. Burns: 'We're working on a documentary about the national parks. Unfortunately, Mt. McKinley is blocked by snow and clouds today.'

[J.Po tries to conjure up a comment that would adequately express her love of K. Burns' work. Gets nervous and fails to pull it together.]

[K. Burns lines us up for a photo and puts arm around Traveling friend #2 and #3. Traveler #2 inches closer to KB. Several photos taken.]

[ Photo session complete.]

Traveling team: 'Thank you so much!' 'It was wonderful to meet you!' 'Love your work!' 'Can't wait for the next documentary series!' etc etc etc

[Mr. Burns and Manager return to van. Traveling team waves the van goodbye and turns back toward visitor center in shock, awe, and amazement.]

_________________________________________

Turns out Traveling Friend #1 had another real Burns sighting recently. He reported to traveling team:

[My wife] and I were in New York last weekend, crossed

the street,got to the other side and thought, hey,

that guy with the Yale sweatshirt on looks familiar.

Yep, it was Ken Burns. Tempted as I was, I did not

chase him down to ask if he remembered me.

My response:

WOW WOW WOW!!  It is quite a shame that I was not

there with you so that I could stomp across the

street and point at him like a nervous school girl. 

That's my recollection from last time, anyway.



I am stunned by your good luck. 



J

___________________________________________________________

I was more excited about meeting Ken Burns than I would've been meeting Brad Pitt. Is this a sign that I am a geek at heart? I hope so.

12:49 AM

Know what time it is? Time for some words of wisdom.

Things are not as they should be. Things are as they are.

Shmi-tunes

I don't care what anybody says. iTunes ROCKS MY WORLD. It has allowed me to purchase some rare REM tracks (Permanent Vacation), a little known live recording of Ellis Paul and Patty Griffin singing Conversation With a Ghost, and (for reasons unknown to me) various covers and live performances by Pearl Jam (including a great cuts of 'Throw Your Arms Around Me' and 'Man of the Hour').

iTunes has also led me along a winding search toward what is becoming my newest band interest: Pedro the Lion. Give 'em a listen.

Ye Ole 'Hood (for which I don't own a Neighborhoodie)

Today was take-care-of-my-health-day in San Franciso. One doctor's appointment, 4 hour wait, second doctor's appointment. History has taught me to consolidate; use fewer sick days. History has also taught me that medical care at UCSF is as good as it gets in the Bay Area. It's top notch. You have a cyst? They will look. You have thyroid problems? They will draw blood. You come in for a new patient appointment? You fill out a book's worth of questions. (The fact that they even ASK about medical history is a step up from my last PCP.)

Although I could go on and on about my appointments, the real story is this: Today I had to return to the Old Hood (circa late-1990's). I warn you, only 2 of my 3-4 readers will find this meaningful. I suggest that the other 1-2 stick it out anyway. There's a lesson in this tale.

_____________________________________________________________

With 4 solid working hours between doc #1 and doc #2, I decided to take the N Judah to the Canvas Cafe (my favorite work-doing haunt). On my walk down 9th Ave, I noticed that things have been in flux since days of yore. There's evidence of a troubled ecomomy - stores and restaurants with new names and clean paint. Chain (Walgreens) and chain-esque (Crossroads Trading Company) stores have taken the place of small retailers. So much for the Inner Sunset's never-ending support for the independent entrepreneur.

The economy is showing on the walls of the apartments too, making me think that the rent market is finally in the hands of the renters. Buildings are no longer dirty and run-down. They've been freshened up for people (and their money) to move in.

Walking through this place I knew but don't really know anymore, I found myself extremely nostolgic for the old days - especially when I walked by 'House' only to find that it isn't 'House' anymore. The building bears a sign indicating that 'Kidi Terryaki and Sushi' lives there now. My only solace came in seeing that the jaunty, off-kilter window remains.

And walking further, I found that 'StampFrancisco' has finally caved. How many stamp fanatics live in the Inner Sunset anyway? Too few, I guess. Now it's a gym.

I could go on and on with the changes, but I think I'd start crying.

Instead, here's the uplifting part of the story: the most important places to me, the ones that draw me back to the old stomping ground, are still there (with the same old signs and fading paint jobs). Le Video remains a film buff's jem shoved into a tiny venue. Tutti Fruity and Wishbone are still selling their kitchy and fashionable dust-gatherers. Crepevine and Aveneda? Still there. And, most importanty, Minh Tri is still serving a the world's best #38.

The lesson here? It's not always true that the only certainty in life is change. Some things in life are so good that they don't need to change.


Post Scripts:

1. Two nights ago I had a dream that I was stuck in San Francisco at night because I missed the last train to the EB. I happened to have my old apartment key on me, so I decided to go to the old place and quietly let myself in. I did this successfully and then found a nice spot on the living room carpet. No one knew I was there until I shifted while trying to fall asleep. Then one of the NEW inhabitants came out and I tried to explain myself. I was in fear. And she was rather confused about why I was there. What I noticed about the place was that they had much nicer furnature and belongings that WE had when WE were there. These med school brats were living in OUR apartment where WE greated the new millenium, where WE had conversations in the kitchen long into the night, where WE first listened to Reveal, where I watched the horrifying scene of the twin towers tumbling to the ground. WHY WERE THEY IN MY SPACE?

2. A few weeks ago, I dreamt that my mother was looking for tupperware in my old apartment on 7th. While looking through the cabinets, a person walked into the kitchen and it wasn't S or L. It was one of those med students. She was slightly weary and pissed. And I was wondering why she was there.

3. I think I'm having issues with invasion of space. That will happen when you've been mugged and robbed, all in 3 months.

4. After leaving doc appointment #2, I walked to 'Crepes on Cole' to grab some lunch and do some work. I will have you know, 'Crepes on Cole' is in NO WAY associated with the 'Crepevine.' NEVER EVER assume they're related!!!!

Always Second Place

It's about time for the film community to recognize the fine talents of Mr. Johnny Depp. I was disapppointed today when I opened my Yahoo page to discover that he was, once again, passed up for a best actor award. Okay, so I haven't actually seen Finding Neverland. But given his fine performances in the past (What's Eating Gilbert Grape, Benny and Joon, Pirates of the Carribean, Chocolat, Dead Man, Ed Woon, Edward Scissorhands, etc.), I'm astounded that he goes unnoticed. I should confess that I have an undying attraction to J. Depp and that I may be slightly biased in my opinions, but DAMN...he was so fantastic in Pirates of the Carribean. He carried that film. And I never ONCE thought to myself, 'That's Johnny Depp playing some pirate guy.' Oh no, I thought, 'That captain Jack Sparrow is a mighty fine pirate. Yar!.' Yes, JD has a history of hit-or-miss films. But the hits are FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!

My bet: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory will be GREAT - and he'll go unrecognized again.

Sheesh.

Me - West Wing Style

I can't stop watching the West Wing. I'm obsessed. My obsession is now spilling over to my web surfing. I just took some online quiz to see which character on the West Wing is most similar to me. The (undoubtedly complex) formula spit out this answer: Josh Lyman. I am delighted by this news, since I respect Josh more than anyone else on the show. That guy's been through a lot - the death of his sister, a gun shot wound, difficulty asking women out on dates. He handles it all with grace. Plus, I think he's cute.

(Spice, I respect Toby too.)

I hear more about Ohio in Berkeley than I ever do in Ohio

For a recap on the crappy happenings in Ohio during and following the 2004 election , check out this (admitedly very liberal) site. A disturbing summary, to say the least.

http://www.commondreams.org/views04/1231-02.htm

(Okay, so I've been away from blogger for a while and I don't feel like remembering how to do fancy links. Just copy and paste the damn thing and don't complain.)

What Does it Take?

While exploring my options for future work in the

field of mental health policy, I learned this

interesting tidbit:



When someone is hospitalized for suicide idealation or

a suicide attempt, the doctors must make a change in

thier medication regime so that the insurance

companies will be conviced of the necessity of

hospitalization.  In other words, wanting to kill

oneself is not a good enough reason to be hospitalized

(although there was a time when it was).  The reported

reason for hospitalization becomes 'the patient must

be observed while he/she alters their medication

regime.'  The irony is that most medications used to

treat mental illness require 4-6 weeks to take effect;

the average stay in the hospital is probably somewhere

around 5 days. 



Do you think drug companies had anything to do with

the change in policy?  I have an incling they did. 









		

The Times - I hope they're a-changin'

I am quite officially slated to attend my first gay wedding in the land where such things are currently legal (sadly, emphasis on currently). This excites me greatly. There was a time that I was asked to be the drag queen at said wedding. Do you think I'm still under consideration? I have ballet moves to add to my act.

Regardless of my role in the festivities, I can't wait to send a bit 'F you' to our current and future administration by supporting people I care about during their public expression/legalization of commitment and love.

Pea in a Pod

Ballet class II today. Fantastic. I felt like a round peg in a round hole.

One of These Things is Not Like the Others

One of my New Year's resolutions (enacted a month early) is to learn ballet. I took ballet classes for about 2 months when I was 5 years old. I didn't take to it then, but I've always admired the elegance of ballet and I'm obsessed with the idea of becoming proficient before turning 30.

So as a first step , I went along with a friend of mine (who has had years of ballet experience) to a 'beginning ballet' class at a studio in south Berkeley. I slapped down my $10 walk-in fee expecting a bit of a challenge and a large amount of guidance on positions and body alignment. Mind you, I didn't know what 5th position was when I walked into that class.

I stretched, eagerly approached the bar, and looked proudly at my newly purchased ballet slippers in the mirror. And then class began......

The instructor quickly demonstrated foot and arm and leg combinations using names I'd never heard and positions I didn't think possible. I immediately sensed that I DID NOT BELONG IN THAT CLASS. I tried to catch on to the first complicated set of moves (which turned out to be the easiest set of moves). And as soon as I had some minor sense of what everyone was doing, she moved on to a more complicated combination of moves......and then on to an even more complicated combination of moves.....and on and on and on. I was feeling thoroughly embarrassed, but not humiliated because I was relatively hidden doing my own terrible version of ballet.

I could not hide for long, however. After an exhausting 45 minutes at the bar, the instructor (get this) told us to move onto the floor and group off into threes. These groups were formed so that we could prance ACROSS the room doing complicated patterns or spins and leaps and sways and jumps (all with confusing French names) in UNISON. At this point, I decided to find my place in the corner of the room to avoid complete humiliation. No dramatic re-enactment of the Full Monty for me!

I walked out of that class with my head hung low. My companion in dance (who quite successfully survived the 90 minute torture) lifted my spirits saying, 'That was NOT a beginning class.' Indeed. There were some professionals in the ranks.

I'm trying a new studio and new 'beginning ballet' class tomorrow. We shall see. I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON THE DREAM! I MUST DANCE!! (said with Will Farrel-esque enthusiasm)

New Topic: Brain Drain

Another issue that came up over my weekend in Ohio was the following.....

How much of the intensity of RED in the middle of America (urban areas not included here) has to do with highly educated people leaving their home towns for areas where they can persue more education or work for big industry/high-profile organizations or live in a place that is highly accepting of liberal ideals? I fully accept that there are fantastic institutions of higher learning throughout the midwest (my college and Spice and J.Bro's grad school as examples) and incredibly liberal cities/towns (Minneapolis, Madison, Chicago, Athens GA (true, not the midwest), etc). But if I think about it, in part considering my own options for further education and occupations, many top schools and highly desirable professional organizations (i.e. - high-profile government institutions, global non-profits, etc.) exist on the coasts. Is brain drain an issue in this age of easy transportation?

And then there's always my favorite theory - that democrats are concentrated in urban areas and college towns and along waterways because these are the places where one is exposed to a wide range of different people (ethnically, culturally, religiously, gender identificationly, etc.)

Discuss.

I Didn't Think I Knew Any Republicans

Every now and again I do a mental check of the people in my life to figure out if I'm aquainted with any republicans. Ususally my check comes up negative. Apparently, I've been forgetting to run the algorithm on my extended family....but then, I've always assumed that they all vote as democrats since most of them are firmly seated in the working class. This Thanksgiving weekend I've learned that this assumption is misguided. At Thanksgiving dinner (which I did not attend since I was waiting out a plane delay in Chicago O'Hare), the fam got to talking politics and the most recent presidential election. Apparently, the voting broke down as such:

Kerry:
- My sister (highly educated - MD plus fellowship, pediatrician and endocrinologist)
- My father (highly educated - PhD, engineer)
- My mother (highly educated - two masters degrees, professor)
- My uncle B (higher education completed - BA, postal worker)

Bush:
- My great aunt (high school education, wife of deceased working class husband)
- My Uncle T (high school education, Vietnam vet, steel mill worker currently out of work, single handedly raising his grandaughter)

Outstanding:
- My grandmother (retired working class)

At some point during dinner, my father asked Uncle T what issues drove him to vote for Bush. His response was something to the effect of, "at this time in our nation's history, we really need God involved." He was voting for God, not for tax policies or the war in Iraq or healthcare or anything else that may be related to his self-interest. I don't think he has ANY idea, in fact, that he was voting AGAINST his self-interest. Of all of the people at that turkey table, he is the one who could benefit most from a switch to a democratic president. He's also the one, though, who does not have the educational background to critically evaluate the issues at hand.

I am expecting a thorough analysis from all you political scientists out there.

Dear loyal readers,

I am writing out of concern for my standing in the blogger community. As of late, my posts have been minimal at best. You may be wondering if I have decided to discontinue my daily meanderings via the information superhighway. Do not worry. I have been quite busy and unable to post regularly, but stories have been archived in this head of mine and they will be released as time permits. All I ask is that you continue to check in. I will not disappoint.

Sincerely,
21st Century Nancy Drew

Stolen? Perhaps.

Do you realize that the gentleman in charge of the electronic voting machines in Ohio said something like 'I'm going to deliver Ohio to Bush'?

Conflict of interest? YES!!!

I'm back....from outer space....

Mary-Kate and Ashley have their own line of shampoo and conditioner. Does this mean I can be as beautiful as them?

Rebuilding

It's been a week of rebuilding. A trip to the DMV, receipt of my new phone, chasing down the SIM card for my phone, activating credit cards, checking credit reports, buying replacement items, calling my bank, disputing charges that were not mine, replacing keys for office building, buying new bike lock, etc, etc, etc. In thinking about the stolen stuff, I'm reminded that I don't need so much crap in my life. Do I even want to carry a backpack anymore? No. I was phasing that out of my life. How many coats does a girl need, anyway? 3 credit cards - too many? The phone, though, has made a welcome re-entry into my life. Same number, different phone. You people can reach me again. I may not be able to reach you, however. My numbers were lost along with my old phone.

Today I went downtown to try to replace some of the many things stolen from me last week (thanks, dad, for the 'loan'). My first stop was the Levi's store, which was closed because it was rented out for an "event" (who in the world rents out the Levi's store for an event?). I was disappointned. But my gloom lifted after I had two mildly-famous-people sitings: (1) the crazy lady who wears weird hats and reviews movies for Kron 4 (the all news and Dr. Phil station) and (2) the 80-something-year-old twins who wear matching outfits and tool around San Francisco hand-in-hand. There were many additional bizarre occurences that I won't reveal at the juncture. What I will reveal is that I closed out the night with the purchase of a new coat. Not as fantastic as the stolen one, but it will do for now.

splash

Last weekend I went to Nevada City to see L.L perform in a synchronized swimming meet. The atmosphere suited my mood - it poured and B.K. and I sat out in the rain, got miserably wet, and watched routine after routine after routine swim to really poorly cut music. I was surprised to find that 3 different groups used clips from C&C Music Factory as part of their mixes. The oldest of these groups swam in the 50's age category and wore neon green, yellow, and pink suits. I know the 80's are back, but dude! L.L.'s group won the 40's age category and they did not use any 80's music in their routine. Coincidence?

Solid

One of my favorite lists to make is the list of albums in my collection that are solidly good from start to finish. By that I mean NOT ONE BAD SONG and FLOW from one song to the next. Here's a fraction of my total list:

- Joshua Tree (U2)
- Automatic for the People (REM)
- Blue (Joni Mitchell)
- Sargent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (the Beatles)
- August and Everything After (Counting Crows)
- Impossible Dream (Patti Griffin)
- Trinity Sessions (Cowboy Junkies)
- Tracy Chapman (Tracy Chapman)
- Free Wheelin' Bob Dylan (Bob Dylan)
- Play (Moby)
- Sounds of Silence (Simon and Garfunkel)
- OK Computer (Radiohead)
- White Ladder (David Gray)
- Rites of Passage (Indigo Girls)
- Fumbling Towards Ecstacy (Sarah McLaughlin)
- Ray of Light (Madonna)
- In the Wind (Peter, Paul, and Mary)
- Graceland (Paul Simon)
- New Adventures in HiFi (REM)
- In My Tribe (10,000 Maniacs)
- Kid A (Radiohead)
- Up Up Up Up Up Up (Ani DiFranco)
- The Covers Record (Cat Power)

How about you?

I hate Dr. Phil, with his simplistic and trite solutions to life's big struggles. Get a life, man.

levity

Today, for the first time in as long as I can remember (translate to: a few weeks), I had several moments of levity. The longest of these moments was the 4 hours surrounding and including tonight's REM concert.

Having been so busily burried in my own shit for the past several days/weeks, I had absolutely no mental build-up for this event. I simply showed up at 6:30 to meet my friends, grabbed a quick bite, walked to the Greek, sat down, listened to some bizarr-o opening act (which MT says was better than Sonic Youth), waited through the change of equiptment, and watched REM appear onstage and begin to play. Weird.

The Greek is very small relative to other venues in which I've seen them and our seats were fantastically good. I could throw tomatoes at Michael Stipe if I wanted to. I chose to do a lot of singing and clapping and dancing instead.

I've never realized how odd Michael Stipe's stage performance is until seeing it up close. He is a strange man. And he's become remarkably (and perhaps deservedly) narcissistic compared to his early days of hiding behind the microphone like a scared puppy. Okay, so I never saw him back then, but that's what I read. As usual, he appeared onstage with eye makeup. This time, a thick black super-hero style mask-type thing. Kindof like the blue stripe of the Best Of tour, but much thicker and black. He performed a lot of whip-its and got down on his knees more times than I can count. And there was a fair amount of standing stiffly and staring with great purpose into the crowd.

Peter and Mike were in typical, but slightly altered, form. Peter was sporting (as Spice reported) his new hairdo, which makes me think he's hit some new phase in his life. Mike was dressed down compared to usual, with jeans and a striped shirt. The nudie suits have apparently been put to rest. Has he hit a new phase in his life too?

I can't remember everything that was played, but here's what I can conjure from this somewhat handicapped brain of mine:

- Begin the Begin
- So Fast, So Numb
- Drive
- Leaving New York
- Final Straw
- Welcome to the Occupation
- I Wanted to Be Wrong
- Electrolyte
- Animal
- Bad Day
- Don't Go Back to Rockville
- The Outsiders
- The One I Love
- Losing My Religion
- Wanderlust
- Something from Life's Rich Pageant...I can't remember
- Walk Unafraid
- Life and How to Live It

- What's the Frequency, Kenneth?
- Cuyahoga
- Permanent Vacation
- Some new song that's not on an album
- Man on the Moon

They DID NOT end with It's the End of the World as We Know It. I was disappointed and the show felt unfinished.

In other news, MT stood for the ENTIRE concert and was spotted clapping and, on occassion, singing along with the music. He reports it to be a "very good REM experience...much better than the Monster Tour."

lurid pizza

The keys that were stolen along with my backpack were on the lurid pizza keychain from a trip to Japan 6 years ago. Spice knows that keychain well. She was there when we bought it.

The journal that was stolen along with my backpack contains many highly personal and very raw passages, some of the most exposing I've ever written. Spice knows those passages because she's heard it all. Spice - can you act as my journal until I do all of the rebuilding?

The scarf that was stolen along with my backpack was still on needles. I was going to cast off last night. Spice knows that scarf because it was intended for her.

I am reminded, once again, that Spice is intensely important to me.

shit storm

it continues.

i had my entire backpack and coat and handmade scarf stolen from my office at berkeley.

contents of my backpack:

- wallet (containing 3 credit cards, 2 used to buy BART tickets; california state ID, my 3rd in 3 months; my cal rec card; $40)

- clothing from my stay in san francisco last night (newish Levi jeans, jcrew blouse, eddie bauer t-shirt, champion sweats)

- my phone (replaced after mugging, thankfully i put insurance on it)

- my toiletry pack with so many items i cannot list

- nearly complete scarf i started for spice last year (sorry spice)

- MY JOURNAL....AGAIN

wtf. why me. why now.

time passes

It has been over a week since my last post. These are the things I've learned:

- Time ticks, ticks, ticks away ... even if it happens slowly
- The Rachmaninoff Vespers is (are?) really incredible
- I work in a one-waterbath, zero-microcentrifuge lab
- Life goes through phases and I'm in a transitional one
- There are times in ones life when no major life decisions should be made
- I still haven't purchased the REM album even though it was released yesterday
- My boss is very supportive
- I cannot tolerate people who glamorize pain
- Social Epidemiology is my real interest, Genetic Epidemiology is something I do for now
- Good friends are invaluable and highly worth investment
- Baking powder is not a suitable substitute for baking soda
- Political candidates seldom answer the questions asked in debates
- Staying hydrated keeps me sane
- Brown Cow Cream Top Yogurt (Maple Flavor) is my favorite 4pm snack